The Best Day of the YEAR!

Since today is the last day of school, I am pretending and remembering what fun that was.  Field Day, snow cones, ribbons, popcorn, and best of all turning your books back in to your teacher.  Remember how they used to collect fines if you marked up your book or tore a page?  I was always afraid something would happen and I'd have to come back the next day.  Everyone else would be out for summer except me...  Yikes, I was a spooky little kid.

I can still hear the drone of those standing fans back before we had AC.  Those things would just about put you to sleep in the heat...with your arm all sweaty and stuck to your desk.  All they did was stir that hot humid air but I guess if you were already sweaty, that helped a little.  And lockers.  Remember how we had to go clean those out?  I always ended up with about 50 coats and sweaters to take home the last day when it was at least 200 degrees. 

Having that whole summer stretched out ahead of you was just bliss....bare feet, playing outside until dark, reading, swimming, and no home work.  Summer trips, maybe camp....just so much to look forward to.  I hope the little kids today get to fiddle around like we did and just be kids vs having to do something or be somewhere every day.  I think it's important for all kids to just let their brains jell a little.  And piddle some.... life in the summer is meant to be at half throttle...or no throttle....until you know what you want to do next.  Staring up at the clouds and imagining, is important work.   So is eating Popsicles, riding your bike, and pestering your siblings.  Man...those were the days...
                                                                                                

Really???

I know its wrong to giggle at someone else's discomfort, but sometimes I just can't help myself.  The other night after dinner, we went by to check on mom.  I'm talking me and my partner here.  He is always willing to go--I just try not to ask him very often.  Seeing the effects of Alzheimer's tends to make him want to run screaming and punch the code to get out of there.  I definitely get that-- but sometimes going with him just makes it so much easier.  He makes me laugh or maybe it's the shared load.  Dunno.  All I know is sometimes it just helps.

While we were there, a lady blew his ever loving mind.  She seemed pretty normal.  Walked up, started chatting, and all was good.  He was chatting her up back, until she started telling him "I have to go home now and help momma cook" and "Merry Christmas".  Oh, man...the look on his face was priceless.  The only reason its at all funny to me is because I know exactly how that feels.  You think for a nano second you are on solid ground, only to feel the rug suddenly ripped right out from under you.  Then you start looking around wondering "OK...who here is normal and who's not...who's visiting and who is a resident?"  Watching him try to make sense of what she was saying just made me snicker harder.  Finally I told him under my breath "Just go with it ", and he relaxed.  Before we left, we wished her a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and she seemed delighted.

One lady I visited with had a bunch of The Plaza's linen dinner napkins shoved into the waistband of her pants, clutching the top part in her hand.  I asked her about them and she tried to tell me.  For the life of me, I still don't know what that was about, but because she told me "You look like you would know about these", I took the one she gave me and just held onto it.  It seemed to make both of us feel better and that's all that really matters, isn't it?

If I've learned anything about this disease it's that it's just loads more fun to roll with it than to try to fight the current.  Honestly, to hear me talk when I'm over there visiting, I sound like a resident.  I tell mom everything under the shining sun I can think of that's present day and just pretend she gets it.  But when I'm visiting with some of the others and I am clueless as to what they are saying, I just make stuff up.  My goal is usually to see if I can make them laugh.  If I do, I feel like a million bucks.


I will say its so much easier when the funny stuff happens to someone else's mother.  There's just no way in this world its one bit funny when its my mother.  Someday it may be, but not today.  No sirree. 

Rotten Dogs

I am just back from a visit to my orthodontist.  In the cleaning process, my Invisaligns met with some water that was hotter than I realized and are now a melted mess.  I was limping by with one pair until the top one cracked.  Don't ask me how that happened.  I'll only cop to the fact that they had a really bumpy ride in the washing machine, and that's all I'm saying.

My Orthodontist used to bring both of her dogs (long haired Chihuahuas) to work and I asked where they were, hoping they were both still OK.  They are.  It seems when Dr. Crawford brought her dad  home to live with her, prior to his death, the puppies loved being at home with him, the caregivers, and their doggie door.  Now that he's gone, they still want to stay home, so she lets them.  But here's the kicker.  They have a baby sitter that comes by to love on them three times a day.  I about fell over when she told me.  Lordy....I thought I was bad. 

Never mind Sis wouldn't go on her walk last night until she got to go for a ride first.  We went to get yogurt and then to check on mom and when we got back, some body's tail was in a major knot.  Sis had planned on going.  Oops.  At first Bruce didn't believe me when I told him what Sis wanted and why she was so furious, until I told him to ask her.   Ask her" if she wants to go". ( He doesn't speak dog so occasionally I have to interpret.)  He asked her, and all hell broke loose....barking, yipping, jumping up and down, tail dancing, trying to get herself in the car, running from my side to his, and back and forth. Total dog frenzy.

I'd say that was a YES.  So, off we went with her, car window down, her upper body hanging out, sniffing.  It takes so little to make some gals happy.
                                                                         

Want these

After watching Zero Dark Thirty yesterday, I'm wondering how in the world people who work for the CIA can ever, ever, ever be anything close to normal human beings.  And, maybe that's just it.  They're not.  And that's why they are either recruited or hire on.  Lord, love me....I just hope I do not wake up tomorrow and have "Mr. Mertz" tell me he's been an operative for the CIA all these years. 

I've said this before here and I'll say it again.  I know a guy who was "recruited" in High School, was trained, and then, couldn't get out.  That's just a stomach churner to me.  Sure makes you wonder about the people you pass on the street everyday, doesn't it?  Scary stuff and stuff I don't need to know about if I plan to sleep at night.  I don't have the intestinal fortitude for that kind of stuff--at least I don't think I do--and I don't want to know, if I do.  I've decided I don't want to be a SEAL, either, though I did think their night vision telescopic laser goggles were beyond cool. 

Wouldn't these be fun to play with?  You know they would. 

 

Monday

I am about to go cray cray....we were all set for a movie marathon on Direct TV and movie #1, Silver Linings Playbook, is currently a no show and Direct TV can't seem to tell us why, what the deal is, etc.  So, now we wait until 2pm for the next movie Zero Dark Thirty.  Yes, it's a tad bit violent but since it surrounds the capture and killing of Osama bin Laden by Seal team 6,  as he was tracked and found by a female operative, I'm all over it.  Now I just have to entertain my self while we wait.

I just saw the interview on 60 Minutes of the SEAL team member who wrote the book on this mission.  I know initially there was quite a bit of flap about him doing it, but I think it's hugely helpful for us to understand how many people it took "to put Seal team 6 in the right bedroom, of the right house, that could be anywhere in the world." This former Seal could not have been more humble and appreciative of the woman who tracked bin Laden and assured him 100%, that she knew exactly, unequivocally, where he was.  He said in the interview that after the fact and in review, she was right on in every single detail, unlike others who had claimed to know exactly where he was.  Holy cow....in a weird way, it somehow seems appropriate to be watching this movie today.

The former Seal said it took lots of people to make the mission successful--not just the person who tracked him.  The SEAL point guy who whispered bin Laden's son's name probably saved all of the SEAL's lives who were on the stairs that night, steps from bin Laden's room.  The SEAL said even after the helicopter crash gong in, which would have rattled anybody's nerves, the point guy had the intuitive smarts to guess that the guy at the top of the stairs who ducked back around the corner, was Khaleed, bin Laden's son. The SEAL knew if he could get the son to poke his head back out, they could take him out before he could nail all of them.  All of this in a split second. 

The two helicopter refuelers who that night were the best refuelers in the world, when it came to refueling in a big fat hurry, and getting them all the hell out of Pakistan.  It was their job to jump out of the helicopter, where they could be shot at any second, and fill up the chopper.   

So, in celebration of this Memorial Day I'm going to watch this movie, get the bejeepers scared out of me and be grateful to those who have kept me and mine safe.  To those who paid the ultimate sacrifice, I am certainly grateful. 

                                                              

Laid back Saturday...yawn....

Our after lunch activity included meeting a new resident of our block--a dumped, brown and white speckled male pit bull mix, that could not have been cuter or more friendly.  His adoptive mom already had a springer spaniel and she and some other neighbors had been feeding the younger pup for a little while.  She said she arrived home one night and found the pup very upset, so she herded him into her back yard and that was that.  He's been there ever since and is thrilled to have found a forever home.   According to her, he wants to do whatever she asks and to please her.  Isn't that the case with most rescues....they are so appreciative and un-entitled, unlike some dogs we know.

That brings me to a certain bad-breathed hound who is hogging the chair behind me, resting her head on the arm of the chair, paws hanging off the chair's edge.  I can tell when she's spotted a squirrel because her whole body quivers, shaking the chair.  If she's really excited, she'll raise herself up and stand with her front feet on the arm of the chair, ear flipped back a la pirate.  This may or may not include the occasional whine.  If a dog passes by, she may or may not bark, depending not whether she likes the dog.  Even dogs are choicey.

Choicey.  Possibly the funniest word I can remember from the boys childhood.  We had a housekeeper, Louise White, who once told me referring to her husband that "he don't be choicey".  I very nearly bit through my lower lip trying not to scream out laughing over that word.  I just loved it and was afraid if I laughed, she might think I was being uppity.   Since I am a word collector, I've kept it ever since, tucked away for just those occasions that warrant it.

Don't forget to fly your flag! We are safe because of them and their sacrifices.

Car trips

One of my friend's just called.  She's stuck in the car with her husband, and is down to the last few hours of long  car trip, and she's about to cry.  They've been gone for over a week and for anyone whose been married longer than thirty minutes knows, a long car trip is just literally hell on wheels.  Even with someone you love, it can turn murderous at any moment, and it has for her.  I wasn't a lot of help because all I could do was: 1) laugh hysterically and tell her how well she was holding up 2) tell her I'd be shackled and in a prison jump suit by now 3) that perhaps it's time to play the quiet game with a bandana in his mouth.

Today I know that sometimes just driving to Preston Center three minutes away is about all I can tolerate with my partner.  Being trapped in the car is just not something I do well, especially when the person I married wants to "narrate" as he drives, fiddle with the radio, find his phone, check his phone, find his sunglasses, scan the horizon, sing, burp, yak, and tell me the latest joke they have just told on "The Ticket".  Can you say " Please shudddd upppp", 'cause I can.  The reality is, he's just doing his thing--- and the other half of that reality is, if he doesn't quit, he's going down.  I'm going to shoot him the death ray if he doesn't stop.  His choice.  Stop now or be fried.

That's why this was so hilarious to me...there's just such power and relief in knowing it's not just me, and if I call one of my close pals and dump my lunch, it starts to be funny.  That might be a stretch...so let's just say less annoying.  By the end of the conversation we were both laughing....he's just being who he is, just like she's being who she is, and they're both probably really tired and past ready to be out of that damn car. 

Time for a nap in the back seat.  

The big reveal

Ahhh....the power of  Deno's shoe repair.  This is my niece Austin's doctor bag.   It belonged to her great uncle, Dr. Bob Yeager.  His father, her great, great grandfather, was also a doctor. Her mom thought it would be cool to have Dr. Bob's bag totally refurbed and given to Austin, as a new doctor.  I quite concur.  Talk about a before and after.  Whoa. 

Before:         

After:                                

Fab, no???   Note her initials.  Tres' chic.  The bag almost looks like a purse now.

Remember back when your pediatrician made house calls if you were really sick and you just knew, despite all your prayers, that there was a big ass needle in that bag, with your name on it and maybe more than one??  That was the stuff of childhood nightmares.  I always knew Dr. Roach did NOT have pills in there for me-- if he was coming, he was toting a harpoon full of penicillin.  And, he was.

OK...now that bag's not looking so great to me after all....  I'm having penicillin flashbacks.

Summer...bring it on

I just have to say it...I am so ready for summer.  I'm ready for lots of book reading, the sound of lawn mowers first thing in the morning, trips to the Farmer's Market, fresh tomatoes, squash, peaches, and the over all s-l-o-w-e-d down pace.  The last few weeks have been a total cluster and I think all of us could use a break.

 Last night I found my partner eating a Popsicle  (we were out of  his favorite--fudgsicles).....Not sure what it is about seeing a man of his age eating a Popsicle that gasses me, but it does.  His lips were the color of it (orange, maybe?)and I only wished it had been a blue one...or green.  Never mind those were not for him.  That's my Small's visitor stash but whatever. 

Now, we're not going to talk tornadoes or other horrors today other than to say God can use even the worst situations for good, as I've said here numerous times. It's true...you know it is...so just start praying for help for those affected by Mother Nature. Sometimes she gets in a snit, and she sure as heck did this time.

For those who might have noticed, I haven't been blogging about the Farm at all and there's a reason for that.  We've sold our ownership and are out of there.  Suffice it to say, it was time, we are grateful to have been bought out, and we're done.  As my mother would say, happier elsewhere.  Now let's move on.

Tonight is the Nashville season ender and I am all over it:  will Deacon find out that Maddie is really his daughter and will it blow it up between him and Rayna and send emotional schrapnel flying everywhere??  That's so obvious that it's got to be something much bigger to last us until Fall.  We already know Teddy is going to blame Rayna for blabbing--but will he find out Maddie found the DNA testing on her own?  And what about Gunter....will he get a brain transplant because the one he's got sure as hell isn't working?  Dude...enough of trying to be your brother and just be yourself. 

I'm thinking quiche and a fruit salad for dinner...sound good???

Nash Town

Well....lookey heah....my little seedlings are growing at warp speed and may get plucked a little for sliced tomatoes, goat cheese, and some EVOO and balsamic vinegar tonight, with the chicken I smoked yesterday.  Not gonna lie...I love summer and easy eating.  Anything I can grow or avoid buying at Tom Thumb makes me happy.  The hard part is keeping the squirrels out of my planter.  Now that Sis's dad has had to give up shooting them, things are getting desperate.

What has happened to Calloways's nursery?  I was just there and they didn't have a single white caladium bulb--not one-- in the whole place, and what they did have was on sale 30% off.  Already.  You aren't supposed to even plant them until mid May, at the earliest, so color me late to the partay, I guess.

I spoke with Benji yesterday and it seems among other things, that Scarletta will be going back to Europe in July to play somewhere --he just had not heard back yet where.  I don't care where it is--I just want to go.  We are going to Nash to visit soon and Benji wanted to know what we wanted to do.  I told him that since I was a big Nashville TV show fan, I wanted the "Rayna James" tour.  She's the older gal who's star is fading a little but she's still one hot momma and I like her.  I want to see The Ryman Auditorium and sneak onstage so I can pretend I'm her for a second.  Benji's dad said he wanted the Juliette Barnes tour and I just BET he does--she's the young beautiful train wreck that rolls in the sack with anything with a Y chromosome--as long as it's young Y chromosome.  Sounds like I won't be the only one pretending.
                                             

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday....

Yesterday was just a total wipe out.  Between my niece's Med school graduation and reading Mark Wood's self penned obit, I am just emotioned out .  Cue the Lion King music.  "It's the Circle of Life"..'' .......all together now....

 Yesterday afternoon after Graduation,  Dr. Frostie texted me one final picture: that of her baby "titter", Brooksie, modeling Austin's hood from graduation.   The icing on the cake. Laughed my head off.  Sooo perfect.  

Then I read Mark's self penned obituary where he told about meeting the love of his life, Sara, on a blind date, and married her five months later.  So sweet.  She said in her Caring Bridge post, "I love a guy who writes his own obituary and does his best to try and get his affairs in order before leaving me".
  When he listed his surviving family members, he listed one of his son's, Jason, of  "Marfa, Alaska, and who knows where else."  You have to know Jason, Mark, and the Wood family, to really get that.  Oh, Lordy...funniest, best, family ever.  I only wish for his picture they had used the one of him in jeans and a fishing shirt holding up a bass vs him in a suit.  I'm not sure I ever saw Mark in a suit, and the fish one was just pure dee Mark--at least the Mark I knew.    

OK.....time to move on and get my chicken seasoned and my BGE all fired up and ready to smoke me some chicken.  Just seems like the right thing to do with it being a Sunday and all....like that really has anything to do with it.  It doesn't.  I just want to.

Lastly, I heard this the other day : a brand new arrival to heaven was asked now that he was there, what he would have done differently with his time on Earth, knowing what he now knew.  The man responded "I would have spent more time loving and less time worrying".  Amen. 

Dr. Austin Dryden Dennard...oh, yeah, baby!

From this: 

And this:                                    

(Sorry but this was too funny not to include.  Nice wedgie.)

To this:                                       

To this:                                        

Then this:                          

(Go to commercial.  Waiting on pictures of  Dr. Dennard post ceremony and pirated video will not load here.)  Tick...tick...tick..

And now this:                                                

                                             

She is now officially Dr. Austin Dryden Dennard.  Tears rolling down my cheeks....Sorry...can't help it...just sooo freaking proud.  She's worked so hard and still has her Residency to do here in Dallas, but it's O-Fish-E-Al.  What a mind blower.

Side bar: while at Hockaday, one of her pals named her Austie "Frostie Flake", so while she'll hence forth be Dr. Dennard to most, she'll always be Dr. Frostie around our house.


Just so you can get a taste of who she is, here is a pic of her live in patients. Great taste in pups, no??  That's Cash on the left and Jack on the right.  Frostie says that while Cash might have longer fur and stay warmer in the winter, boy, he be soooo duuuuumb.  Jack?  Mr. Smarty all the way.  Look at him...you can just tell.  He's all elegant and refined and...... well educated.

While I wait for a pic of her being hooded at Graduation by her best friend's dad, who is a doctor, here's what her mom just texted me.  When they call her name, and he hoods her, her name as Dr. Austin Dryden Dennard will flash up on the jumbotron for God and everybody to see!!  Well, HELL, yes!!!  No pictures or video are to be made during the ceremony but, alas...they do not know our family.  As long as it's done on the down low, from your seat without moving or disturbing any one, welllll...let's just say it's gonna 
happen...ya know it is.  I'm thinking they won't be the only one's either.  I'm sure they do photo's for you, for purchase, during the event, but that's just NOT instantaneous enough for our culture.  At least not for me anyway.

Austie's mom just texted "I wonder if they get to keep the cap and gown and hood?" and I told her I didn't know but if not, to just steal the damn thing.  After all the student loans and money that's been spent for her to get through their program, they've paid for that thing several times over. 

OMG...it just happened.  Frostie wiped away a couple of tears as Dr. Korn hooded her, and now I am squalling all over again.  Her mom is trying to text me the video but it may be too long...all 30 seconds of it, but it is adorable.  He is talking to her the whole time and hugs the bejeepers out of her at the end.  Austie just texted that he said "Shut the front door" as she walked up to him on stage, and after hooding her, said "Welcome to the club, Colleague".  No wonder she laughed and cried. 

Yes, this post is all out of sequence but then so is real life sometimes.  I had no idea I might get the real live play by play via text, when I started this post.  Thank God for today's technology...it's almost as good as being there.

Prayers for the Wood Family

I'm feeling sad this morning so won't post today.  Instead, I will send prayers to the Wood family.  Mark, the man I blogged about yesterday, died yesterday morning.  See you tomorrow.
                                                                   

Mark Wood

Lots of random thoughts zipping through my head this morning.  First up is Kobe Bryant's lawsuit against his mom, to reclaim the stuff she's been storing for him for years.  It seems she finally decided to sell the stuff and now Kobe is pissed off, and wants it back.  It seems he feels it's 1) not hers to sell 2) it's his stuff  3) she shouldn't be making a profit off of HIS stuff.

Right, wrong, or indifferent, I'm sitting on a boat load of crapola belonging to one of my favorite musicians, so I can really relate here.  I have no less than 4-5 of those huge plastic storage containers in the garage full of High School memorabilia, camp stuff, and an assortment of odds and ends of things seemingly too precious to let go of, but that MUST be saved.  I refer to this as "Yunk"--your junk.  The worst part is, I remember saying all the same garbage to my mom about why I couldn't store my stuff.  Funny how life repeats itself.  Maybe I'll just sit tight for Scarletta to hit it big, and then threaten to auction off a few mementos.

A wonderful friend of ours is extremely ill, and last night, Bruce and I were talking about what a great guy he is.  His name is Mark Wood, and he was Benji's Scout Master way back when. He is the funniest, nicest, best guy you could ever hope to know.  To say this guy is laid back is an understatement.  He just takes life as it comes and doesn't get in a flap over much.  In tribute to him, I'll pass on the story Bruce told me this morning.  To set the scene here's the scoop:  Scout Camp at Lake Texoma, in July, hotter than hell, and we had to make Benji go. (All of this was in pursuit of Benji getting his Eagle Scout badge.)

 Our troops dad's were requested to sign up to come out and spend a day or two, helping Mark get the boys through earning multiple merit badges, so as to maximize the time spent there.  Bruce spent two days out there helping Mark, and said it was beyond hilarious.  Hot, but hilarious.  It seems on one particular morning, there was a flag ceremony first thing, before breakfast, and troops were to march up the hill to the assigned meeting spot for the ceremonby.  Side bar : to know the members of Benji's troop and their total hang looseness, the very idea of marching is just incomprehensible.

OK...here comes our troop.  Floppy t-shirts, flip flops, bed head, barely awake, kicking cow pies as they came--not exactly what you'd call marching.  Here are the other troops:  starched, in full scout gear, green scout socks up to their knees, kerchiefs, spit shiny, and holding flags.  Bruce said he and Mark were struggling to breathe, they were laughing so hard, and even the boys knew they looked like the stoner Scout Troop, and loved it.  Hey...if that's how you roll, embrace it.

                                            

Thank you, Mark, for a job well done, and for all the laughs.

A new book

Oh, my stars...how could this possibly be?  I was all set to make a strawberry galette and surprise someone when he got home and for the love of all things paper, I can't find my recipe that I cut out of the DMN.  I've already gone online and searched their data base for it with zippo success so I may just have to Big Girl up and wing it.  Damn....clearly I need to get a new secretary because the one I have just isn't doing her job.  She should have scanned that thing to the recipe file and then I wouldn't be in this pickle.
                                                          

While I wait for the butter to soften a little, I have a minute to discuss my new book I started last night:  Man's Search for Meaning, by Victor Frankel.  Considering it involves his first hand experience as a Jewish psychiatrist in a Nazi prison camp, I can only handle so much at a time.  Last night he discussed how he was given a visa to get away, but would have had to leave his parents behind.  He knew he would probably die if he stayed, and wrestled with the decision of do I go, or do I stay and protect my parents, as best I'm able.  As his decision loomed, he asked his father what a particular piece of stone was...why he had it...what was it for?  His father told him it was the edge of a piece of marble off their synagogue that referred directly to "Honor thy Father and Mother".  Victor chose in that moment to stay, and he and his parents were taken away the next day. (pass the Kleenex...I liketa d-i-e-d)

The spiritual aspect of this book is what intrigues me.  People in the most awful, horrendous, terrifying experience of their lives either act with astonishing courage and compassion or turn to the dark side.  What makes some people capable of unimaginable kindness and others not, as they all fight for their survival?  Stay tuned. 

This and that

Noises.  Do they drive you nuts?  Maybe I still have my "mom ears" but noises drive me crazy.  I don't have the tune out ability of the males around my household.  Right now, the fan (?) on my computer seems to be about to head south and the sound of it, over and over, is like being water boarded....it just won't stop.  Yes, I've cut it off, nudged it, and blown air into the back of it in case it was just dusty, but this is getting to be MUCH.  Since the whole shebang is older than Sis, maybe it's just in the throes of death.  Let's hope so because the noise is soooo irritating.  I may pull a Lizzie Borden here soon.

Yesterday I received a text of Avery singing along with Taylor Swift "We are never, ever, ever, ever, getting back together" and not only does she know all the words but her facial expressions are beyond funny.  I watched it twice just to take it all in.  Her dad filmed her while she was lying on the bed next to her mom, and it's for sure Rehearsal Dinner footage for the future.  Off key warbling and noises I don't think Miss Swift makes--almost a growling at one point--assures me that just when I don't think life can get much more hilarious, it does.  Her performance is every bit as disabling as watching Hudson and Hadley, around the same age, dance and sing Beyonce's "Put a Ring on it", booty shake and all.  If I hadn't been sitting down to watch them, I'd have fallen down for sure.  Kids.  They are what life's all about.

Now, on to the news:  Well done, Angelina Jolie. Boobs are never worth dying over, so good for you, gal, to lop those babies off prophylactically.  Implants look just fine and, honey, that was a courageous thing you did to save your own life.  Boobs do not define who you are.  They are highly over rated and do not stack up against living life to the fullest--especially with six kids.  I hope you yanked your ovaries, too, since the article I read said you were also at higher risk for ovarian cancer.  And kudos to Brad for being there all the way. Sounds like you two are the real deal.  Yay for you both! 

Sunday

We enjoyed a fun dinner with our close pals last night in the backyard.  Weather was purrrrfect for eating outside and we all know that lasts for about fifteen minutes in Dallas before you are either eaten by mosquitoes, have a heat stroke, or something else equally fun happens.  Sis was her usual beggar self and worked the table like a pro.  When we first sat down, she jumped up on the banquette next to our guests, like she was part of the group.  Surprised??  Nah.   She is napping now having been up past her usual bedtime and because that's just what she does.  She naps.  It's her job.

Bruce's cinnamon ice cream was excellent and the bad news is, there's more in the freezer.  Uh, oh. I stuck a Pepperidge Farm Ginger Man cookie in the rounded scoop of  ice cream for a little pizazzzzzzz, and the crunchiness of the crisp cookie with the smooth creaminess of the ice cream sure did it for me.  Whoa. Since I forgot to take a picture of ours, this will give you the idea, minus the cookie. 

I finally got mom's weight this morning--they called yesterday but I missed them-- and it wasn't good news.  She's lost three more pounds in a month.  That said, I'm choosing not to focus on that--I refer to this behavior as "positive" denial-- and plan to go over today and see if she wants me to roll her outside for some fresh air.  She may decline as she gets cold easily and now hates the wind.  I'll wait until it hits 80+ degrees and then take her out. 

The landscape guys did a super job of transplanting and moving plants around.  Now I just have to babysit them in their new homes and keep them comfy and watered, and see if they'll survive.  If not, who cares.  They looked like hell where they were so big deal if they croak.  My gardenias have two whopping "beginner" blooms, so far, after I put on the new soil with the ph level they like, so the jury is still out on whether I can get them healthy again.  Who says I don't practice Nursing any more??

Happy Mother's Day to All!!!

Bootydo

My big fat funny and I blew it.....it wasn't Goanbe....it was Bootydo.  "I don't want no dress that makes my stomach stick out further than my bootydo". 

Can senility be too far if I can't even get the big punchline correct?  It's a sad, sad sitchyation. (hangs head in shame)

   

Goanbe

Good morning!!  Hope you are sipping your coffee outside like I am even if you don't have men digging up your backyard--like I do.  That's the fun part.  The landscape men are here to move some large plants around to different locations, while Sis and I watch.  They are all so nice and I get to practice my Spanglish on them, poor guys.  So far I've been real quiet...my vocab is pretty limited.

I just called to get mom's weight for this month--I like to track things like that--only to be told mom had gained 23 pounds in the last month.  I'm serious.  When I told the lady on the phone that mom's last weight was 92.6, and that there was no way on the planet earth she could now weigh 115.6, I was told "Well...she's eating more now".  Really....and I'm Santa Claus. 

Honey....she'd have to be eating like a Sumo wrestler to gain that much in a month. These are the moments I have to staple my mouth SHUT and just email the Nurse Manager and request that mom be re-weighed and that the scale be re-calibrated.  All I can figure is that they weighed her AND her wheelchair, together.  Jeeze, Louise.

Finally, a funny from last night's TV obsession of mine--
Say Yes To The Dress.  It's the show where girls are filmed trying to find the perfect wedding dress while dealing with the entourage they've brought to assist them in their choice.  Last night, a woman was there with her mother, to choose her dress.  She was actually already married and had two children who were there also.  She had gotten pregnant at 18 while her baby daddy was 19, they had married at the Courthouse and her mother had refused to attend.  Her mom was so disappointed and angry that the daughter was giving up her shot to go to college, she wouldn't go, and it essentially destroyed their relationship.

 In the meantime the daughter went to college, finished, and had a second child with her husband.  Her husband had always told her if they made it to 10 years, he was giving her the wedding she missed.  OK...now you are up to speed.  When the wedding dress consultant asked the woman what kind of dress she wanted or envisioned for herself, the gal said "Well...I want something that shows my money maker...I don't want no Goanbe".  Goanbe??  Turns out nobody else knew what that was either, so the gal had to explain "I don't want no dress where my stomach goan be sticking out further than my butt".  I almost fell off the bed laughing.  You heard it here first.

Now, get on outside 'cause it's goan be a really beautiful day.

P. S.  The nurse just called and said she gave me last year's weight (May)  for mom and they'd re-weigh her this afternoon.  She can't find this May's weight. (eye roll)  Funny how a friendly, nice email to the nurse manager gets a quick result.  Note to self : Be nice.  It works.  :)))

My blog

For those not familiar with my blog and my style of writing, I subscribe to the no holes barred, tell it like it is, make up words if you want, and go right ahead and be ignorant in front of all three or four people who read this thing anyway, but have fun while you do it.  Recently I showed my intellectual prowess with my mention of "ying and yang" only to find out from my other half that it's actually yin and yang.  Well, la tee da.  So what if is, I still like ying better.  So there.

Anywho, I've been asked on numerous occasions by friends where in this wide world I come up with some of the topics I discuss and the truth is, I don't really know.  Sometimes I feel like there's something I need to say about something (I don't) so I go ahead, if only just for myself.  This blog is really for me and it's one of the ways I get all the stuff out of my head so there's more room for new information (yin).

Other times, this blog is a way for me to place my focus somewhere positive, when I'm not feeling all that perky.  I enjoy making up a word to fit what I'm trying to say and since the boys and I have done it for ages. Ex.: (Brian-grundle) (Benji-mayamon and dadamon), and it just feels right to do it.  This blog also allows me to go back to kinder, softer, gentler times (illusion) and remember funny scenarios.  Car trips with the boys, a live squirrel in the house, garage catching on fire (Match Light charcoal) --I could go on and on.  I guess what I'm saying is, it's a distraction, therapy, and just plain fun, all rolled into one.

Mostly, I just like to cuss and discuss.  I like knowing what you all think about when you comment.  I also just like to have fun and play. Learning to play as an adult is very important.  Playing is what slows down the world and let's your creative juices flow. 

Thank you to those who read this thing and laugh, shake their head, or are entertained.  Thank you to those who print it out and use it to line the bottom of their bird's cage or shred it for their cat's litter box.  As long as I'm useful, that's all that counts.

Happy Mother's Day to all.  It's the best job in the world with the most hilarious pay currency: vomit, boogers, diarrhea, weird questions, hugs, fever, dead animals, broken hearts, mended hearts, and enough memories to last a lifetime.
                                                   

Be YOU

Have you ever tried to be someone you aren't, can't be, and already know in your heart you don't ever want to be?  I think we all have at one time or another and it felt like a shoe that was the wrong size.  It rubbed, chafed, or flopped, and while it might fit great for somebody else, that somebody just didn't happen to be you.  And then there was the color...it was ok...sort of...but again, just not for you.  So, you kept hunting.

Same sort of thing in real life.  Trying to be someone you aren't is miserable.  Day after day it's simply exhausting.  It makes you feel irritable, angry, and spills over into every aspect of your life even when you don't realize it.  It's like that ill fitting shoe...it's rubbing a blister on your heel and maybe more than one.

It takes lots of courage to choose the life you want, and then live it.  Especially when it flies in the face of a family system that doesn't support diversity of belief-- any belief.  Some family systems tell you there's exactly ONE WAY (their way) to do everything and everything else is WRONG.  Period.  It's black and white thinking without any room for gray.  Family systems like this are limiting, soul crushing, and hard to extricate yourself from.  This is text book co-dependency and it's ruined more lives than you can count.

The courage it takes to do your life your way, is huge.  Walking your walk, doing life your way and accepting the fact that others don't appreciate your walk or even like it (or you) for doing it, is just fine.  That's their stuff.  Do it anyway. Sure, you'll get flak.  You will be judged and criticized.  Do it anyway.  Be who you are.  Walk your walk.  There's only one person God created to be you, and it's YOU. 

You'll find people who love and respect you-- for you.  You will.  They will honor your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, like you'll honor theirs.  You will know a peace you never knew existed.  You will feel a sense of freedom that will make you smile and want to skip outside on the driveway.  Do that, too.  Skipping is good.  I highly recommend it.

But most of all, be you.  Find the shoes that fit YOU, and wear 'um.

                                                                

Mary update

There's nothing like an early morning visit with your neighbor to get your day going right.  Sis and I went out the back door, me with my coffee, to visit with Mary as she was trimming.  I wanted to hear all about her trip to Charleston with her kids, and Sis just wanted to sniff around.  Because it was cool, Mary invited us inside to visit and Sis wasted no time making sure she got to go in, too.  We were both a sight, me and Mary--me in my pj's and robe and Mary in her yard work clothes-- but we didn't care.  We've been through so much together that zero matters to either of us these days.  Since Mother's Day is Sunday, I think I'll make a cake this afternoon and take some over to Mary for her to enjoy.  Since mom can't really be a mom these days, Mary volunteered to be my mother for as long as I need her and for as long as she's on this side of the dirt.  Typical Mary.

As we left, I pointed out to Mary the location of her new tenant--the mother Mockingbird and her nest.  Mary was so excited and glad to know not to trim her roses around the arbor.  Further, I gave her the Rabbit Report and told her I'm not sure if they live under her garage like last year or if they just like her yard but either way, she's got as nature and animal preserve going again, like last year.  Since she's always up and outside early, she said she'd be watching for the rabbits.

I ran by yesterday to see The Smalls and the girls were hilarious.  Avery was playing hide and seek in the drapes and both girls took me upstairs to show me their room, while they jumped on the beds.  Gee, I wish I had that kind of reaction on other people.  Hud came out for a perfunctory hi and went back to watch is TV show.  He was tired and hungry after a long day at school and needed his downtime.  I can totally relate. 

And now for last night's ooops.  I bought two enormous (almost football sized) artichokes at the store Sunday and decided to cook them last night.  They were so huge I couldn't get the top on the pot in order to steam them.  The top went on--just not totally closed.  I steamed and steamed and they were still as hard a concrete so I finally pulled out my giant pot, moved everything over, and put the lid on.  All in all, I bet I cooked those things for an hour before I finally got them done.  By then, Bruce and I had moved on so they'll be on tonight's menu.  If you buy some be sure you have a pan big enough to steam them forever.  Deeelish.
                                    

Update

The battle is over in the cell phone department and for the privilege of spending $199.99 the Retention Department of AT&T is sending me a new white iphone 5.  The lady that helped me was Shanell and she and I are new BFF's.  My phone will be here probably on Wednesday so you go, AT & T.  Yee haw.  It pays to be nice and I was.  :)  The bird nest pic still will NOT load so boo on that.  Fagedaboudit.

                                                                 

Oh...it's Monday again??

Sis's motor is running slow this morning.  When you run and play with your dad all weekend, come Monday, you are going to be one pooped out pup and she is.  She's just now stirring, wanting to eat my lunch, and get up in the chair with me so she can look out the window.  Just about the time her BF gets home, she'll be all rested up and ready to go walking with him.  Notice I said him...I am merely an accessory when he's home...an extra pair of hands to scratch her, someone to interpret her dog talk to him as a further attempt to get him to do what she wants him to do, which is always the same thing--to take her on a walk.  Same old, same old, that never gets old--to her.

There's a new nest in Mary's arbor that a mother Mockingbird has built.  She has a small entry way though the roses covering the arbor and if you look closely, you can sometimes see her tail feathers, depending on which way she's facing.  I'll try to snap her sitting on her nest but if she flies out of there and tries to peck me or dive bomb me, you'll just have to use your imagination. Dive bombing birds freak me out and I may take an old tennis racket out there with me just in case.  No, I won't lob her one but I will keep her away if she flies at me....and she better not.  

I got a pic of her nest but she flew off nearby and wouldn't you know, I can't seem to get it to download here.  Will keep trying.  I'm having sooo much fun right now I can hardly stand myself since I am also on hold with AT&T trying to upgrade early.  After spending an hour at their store trying to get my phone to Skype--it won't-- I'm about to pull a Brittney Spears and shave my head.
 
The pic still won't load so I think I'll just do one frustrating thing at a time and deal with AT&T.  Wish me luck. 
                                                                  
                                                         

JT

This morning, we need to talk about Justin Timberlake.  Why?  I'm not really sure.  I just know I woke up singing "Suit and Tie" and then watched the SNL YouTube video with JayZ and laughed more.  I wanna dance like JT and be half as clever and talented.  And even when JayZ sings with him he's still cool vs going all  

white boy.  Those two together are pure genius and something I would never have seen coming.  Take that, Kanye.  (Kanye has a beef about "Suit and Tie" and it's because he's basically jealous.  And a turd. Once again Kanye tries to pot stir and ends up with both feet in mouth. Shuuudddup, Kanye.)

The fact that JT started out his career as a Mouseketeer makes me laugh even harder.  He so easily could have gone the nerdy weird track but he didn't.  And then, of course, there's the infamous "Junk in a Box" SNL skit that gassed our family one Christmas.  Here my entire family was, at a  nice French restaurant  having dinner together on Christmas Eve, with mom at the end of the table, as all the kids were singing "Junk in a box" and laughing.  Sooo Christmasy.  Mom didn't even know it was going on but the rest of us did and it was one of those memories you never forget. Go watch that on YouTube and try not to laugh.  Impossible.                                   

 Made you laugh, didn't it?

Have a great Saturday and don't forget to watch the Derby this afternoon.

TGIF

I just ran by to check out mom's room and it's blue all right.  Not bad.  Just my perfectionism kicking in full throttle.  I wish I'd have known to ask them to go 50% of the color but you never know that until it's on the wall and dry.  No sweat and no time for a test.  It's clean and fresh and that's what matters.  They will clean her carpet and move her back today or that's the plan anyway.  Her bathroom walls are now white and holy cow does it ever look better.  Case closed.

Lindsay Lohan.  Do we even need to go there?  I saw yesterday where she took 270 outfits to rehab and has now disappeared.  Anybody surprised?  Of course you aren't and the saddest part of this is, the girl needs to be in a lock down facility so she can get the help she so desperately needs, over a l-o-n-g period of time.  And even then, that's no guarantee.  Man...what a waste.

Have root stimulator, ready to mix.  Arturo will start transplanting tomorrow and I'm all set with my Thrive ready to douse all the plants he moves.  My little basil plants spent the night in the garage to stay warm and I moved them back out this morning to toast up in the sun.  Even Sis went out to lie on the warm concrete and soak up some sun.  Her dad's been out of town so her world has been upside down.  Every morning she has run to our bedroom and his bathroom just sure he's back there somewhere, and then whines when she can't find him.  Luckily, his plane should have landed by now so she'll get to see him later today.  Those two....they're a total love affair. 

 

May Day...May Day...OMG!

This was part of a text Brian sent our family last night. Hello, crawfish eatin' season!!  Maybe it's the camera being so close to the bowl but these almost look like small lobster tails.  Brian eyeing them made me laugh and Benji 's response, "OMG...where ARE you...how many pounds is that?" made me remember: you can move away from here, but you always take your taste buds with you.

Happy May Day!!!