Get your tickets

                                                                    

Step right up. Tickets for the Emotional Roller Coaster are for sale and the line forms to the left, please.  No kidding....after a beautiful and serene Easter, today I finally heard back from mom's Geriatrician who agreed to pull mom off all her meds, except comfort ones.  Lovely high (Easter)-- followed by a sad low (today).  Man, life is a doozie sometimes.

Though I've never met mom's doctor--she's only been there a month or so--we had an immediate rapport on the phone.  Her beliefs around death and dying are like a hand in glove fit with mine and mom's, and while I realize everyone may not feel the way we three do, it's comforting to be able to do EXACTLY what your mom asked you to do, with complete support and willingness on the part of the person who can make it happen. Both she and the Hospice doctor were in agreement and that's all I needed.

When she asked me why mom was still ON some of her meds, I had to laugh.  I told her because "no one bothered to take her OFF", and she laughed and said "Well, I sure would have!"  (She's mom's third doctor in the four years she's been there so there ya go.)  I told her I wanted mom comfortable or as comfortable as we can make her-- for the time she has remaining.  Clean and comfortable.  That's my #1 concern.

Today I realized just how grateful I am for my Nursing education, knowledge, and experience.  You can't do what you don't know to do--or how to do--and you can't police it for someone else-- unless you know.  Knowledge is power wrapped in kindness.

#TBT

                                                      

                                                        

Remember these?  Nothing better for breakfast in the whole world than a slice of this.  I texted my sister today telling her I was going to make one figuring it would make her laugh.  We used to make these and then practically girl fight over the last piece.  We always made them tart just because that's how we liked them.  Plus, you had to cut that Eagle Brand milk somehow or it would KILL you.  Deadly stuff and even though the store bought crust was card boardy and practically flavorless--it was just part of the whole experience.


For old time sake, I bought a prefab crust for #tbt but on second thought, I may not be able to stand it. Just entirely tooooo gross. 

I may have to be a purist and go with a homemade crust.  OOO, la la. 

                                               

Onward

With this latest major hack job into all of our emails and passwords we clearly need to change them all but are being told not to do it until a new and improved fire wall can be established.  I get it but when's that likely to happen and what do you do in the meantime?  Radio silence.  Guess there's just not an answer for everything is there?

Thank you to all for your condolences on the close but no cigar Mokey situation.  My partner and I are both feeling much better though still disappointed.  Rats. Rats. Rats.  After I found out he wasn't coming Wednesday, I went and did one of the things I know to do when my heart feels like it's been ripped right out of my chest.  I went next door and played with Claire and baby John and gave them some little Easter candy I'd gotten them.  (Yes, it was late afternoon candy before dinner so color me a lousy neighbor but whatever.)   Baby John wasn't really sure what it was but Claire knew immediately.  After a few smooches on both kids, I was ready to leap small buildings in a single bound......ahhhh.... the power of LOVE.

Sis continues to reign supreme and for the last two nights has gotten her dad to take her for a ride in the car vs a walk.  What he doesn't know is that this is now
THE LAW unto SIS and the first night he doesn't want to there will be hell to pay.  I can't wait.  Watching this battle will be almost as good as watching a Scandal rerun.

Happy weekend to all.  

Sad news

                                                               

For those not on my FB page, the scoop is Mokey is NOT coming.  His family gave him to a friend of theirs.  The friend was to keep him while they were out of town over the weekend and the friend, knowing they were giving him away, asked to keep him.  Yes, they had contacted the Rescue Dachshund people about placing him, said they would, yada, yada, yada.  They bailed.  I guess at least now their little girl can see him at their friend's house.  (I'm working really  hard to be generous here because I'd personally like to dog-nap him.)  But truth be told, I'd probably have done the exact same thing they did AND I still don't like it.  No sir, I don't.

The weirdest part is this morning early I had a premonition that either his family would decide to keep him or the people fostering him would.  Bingo.  The latter.   I told myself to stop "awfulizing"--- but it was still in my head because I even told my hairdresser about it today--he's a fellow doxie person.  When I texted Kevin late this afternoon to tell him no Mokey, he was stunned and then remembered me telling him my weird premonition.  Sometimes my knower just knows stuff.  Don't know how or why but it does--- even when I don't want to believe it.

So, that's that.  I'm crushed.  I'm sad.  I'm disappointed.  I'm going to feel it all and when I'm done, move on. 
The good news?  I still have that slick black hound that I love to pieces and that's a lot.

Pokey, Mokey

No news yet and I have made a deal with myself that if we have not heard from the Dachshund people by tonight, I can text them.  Patience is just not something I do well especially when it surrounds a DOG, and one I have seen a picture of....that's like having candy dangled in your face and snatched away.

While the little kid in me wants to go all toddler in Target meltdown city, the adult in me knows that while that might feeeeeeel good for a second, it's NOT how grown ups act.  Forcing a solution is never a good idea.  That much I know for sure.

So while I attempt to build more character and virtues, stay tuned.  He's so close I can almost smellllllllll him. And since I'm obsessing anyway, I'm thinking this is close to how he must have looked as a puppy.  omg. 

Expectations

Boy, howdy.  Over the weekend I failed to live up to someone else's expectations and did I ever feel the heat.  A neighbor down the block who is and has been separated from her husband for well over a year, expected me to join in on her verbal Tae Kwondo of her husband who has moved on, so to speak. 

I didn't, and expressed my opinion to her that since she can't do anything about his part and what all she feels he's done wrong, she might take a look at hers, since that's the only part she can change, going forward.  I told her in my experience, a relationship has two sides and the truth is generally somewhere in the middle.  3...2...1  Kaboom.

 She wasn't buying anything I had to say.  She gathered her forces and tried again trying to force me to see it her way.  I refused to play.  She shook three pictures she'd printed off FB  that "prove he's cheating on me". They didn't. 

Wow.  When you don't do what someone else wants/expects you to do, you're going to feel the heat.  Stand your ground anyway. Their stuff is their stuff.  Let them deal with it.                                

Wiener dog adoption update

As of an hour ago, here's where we are.  Mokey's people are out of town until Monday so that means until they are back and until the dachshund rescue people can take him to the Vet to be all checked out, we can only lick the picture we have of him...and yeah, I said lick....because right now I could.  His face reminds me of Wigman's but his dapples make him his very own self.  I can't wait to see what he's like in person.  I may faint...

So, maybe next week sometime we will get to meet him and more importantly he will have his audience with Her Canine Royal Highness.  As long as there is no major growling or blood shed, we are good.  We already know Sis is a big old pig--bed hog, bone hog, food hog, etc. so none of that will come as a surprise.  For him maybe but not us.  It will hopefully be like bringing another baby home from the hospital (after the first one), only this one is grown up, is potty trained, and much less of a hassle in general.  Or not.  It could be a freaking nightmare but at least no diapers are involved. 

Some of you have seen his picture.  Some not.  Don't know who the little girl is but I'd take her, too.  Adorbs.  Totally.