Be YOU

Have you ever tried to be someone you aren't, can't be, and already know in your heart you don't ever want to be?  I think we all have at one time or another and it felt like a shoe that was the wrong size.  It rubbed, chafed, or flopped, and while it might fit great for somebody else, that somebody just didn't happen to be you.  And then there was the color...it was ok...sort of...but again, just not for you.  So, you kept hunting.

Same sort of thing in real life.  Trying to be someone you aren't is miserable.  Day after day it's simply exhausting.  It makes you feel irritable, angry, and spills over into every aspect of your life even when you don't realize it.  It's like that ill fitting shoe...it's rubbing a blister on your heel and maybe more than one.

It takes lots of courage to choose the life you want, and then live it.  Especially when it flies in the face of a family system that doesn't support diversity of belief-- any belief.  Some family systems tell you there's exactly ONE WAY (their way) to do everything and everything else is WRONG.  Period.  It's black and white thinking without any room for gray.  Family systems like this are limiting, soul crushing, and hard to extricate yourself from.  This is text book co-dependency and it's ruined more lives than you can count.

The courage it takes to do your life your way, is huge.  Walking your walk, doing life your way and accepting the fact that others don't appreciate your walk or even like it (or you) for doing it, is just fine.  That's their stuff.  Do it anyway. Sure, you'll get flak.  You will be judged and criticized.  Do it anyway.  Be who you are.  Walk your walk.  There's only one person God created to be you, and it's YOU. 

You'll find people who love and respect you-- for you.  You will.  They will honor your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, like you'll honor theirs.  You will know a peace you never knew existed.  You will feel a sense of freedom that will make you smile and want to skip outside on the driveway.  Do that, too.  Skipping is good.  I highly recommend it.

But most of all, be you.  Find the shoes that fit YOU, and wear 'um.

                                                                

Mary update

There's nothing like an early morning visit with your neighbor to get your day going right.  Sis and I went out the back door, me with my coffee, to visit with Mary as she was trimming.  I wanted to hear all about her trip to Charleston with her kids, and Sis just wanted to sniff around.  Because it was cool, Mary invited us inside to visit and Sis wasted no time making sure she got to go in, too.  We were both a sight, me and Mary--me in my pj's and robe and Mary in her yard work clothes-- but we didn't care.  We've been through so much together that zero matters to either of us these days.  Since Mother's Day is Sunday, I think I'll make a cake this afternoon and take some over to Mary for her to enjoy.  Since mom can't really be a mom these days, Mary volunteered to be my mother for as long as I need her and for as long as she's on this side of the dirt.  Typical Mary.

As we left, I pointed out to Mary the location of her new tenant--the mother Mockingbird and her nest.  Mary was so excited and glad to know not to trim her roses around the arbor.  Further, I gave her the Rabbit Report and told her I'm not sure if they live under her garage like last year or if they just like her yard but either way, she's got as nature and animal preserve going again, like last year.  Since she's always up and outside early, she said she'd be watching for the rabbits.

I ran by yesterday to see The Smalls and the girls were hilarious.  Avery was playing hide and seek in the drapes and both girls took me upstairs to show me their room, while they jumped on the beds.  Gee, I wish I had that kind of reaction on other people.  Hud came out for a perfunctory hi and went back to watch is TV show.  He was tired and hungry after a long day at school and needed his downtime.  I can totally relate. 

And now for last night's ooops.  I bought two enormous (almost football sized) artichokes at the store Sunday and decided to cook them last night.  They were so huge I couldn't get the top on the pot in order to steam them.  The top went on--just not totally closed.  I steamed and steamed and they were still as hard a concrete so I finally pulled out my giant pot, moved everything over, and put the lid on.  All in all, I bet I cooked those things for an hour before I finally got them done.  By then, Bruce and I had moved on so they'll be on tonight's menu.  If you buy some be sure you have a pan big enough to steam them forever.  Deeelish.
                                    

Update

The battle is over in the cell phone department and for the privilege of spending $199.99 the Retention Department of AT&T is sending me a new white iphone 5.  The lady that helped me was Shanell and she and I are new BFF's.  My phone will be here probably on Wednesday so you go, AT & T.  Yee haw.  It pays to be nice and I was.  :)  The bird nest pic still will NOT load so boo on that.  Fagedaboudit.

                                                                 

Oh...it's Monday again??

Sis's motor is running slow this morning.  When you run and play with your dad all weekend, come Monday, you are going to be one pooped out pup and she is.  She's just now stirring, wanting to eat my lunch, and get up in the chair with me so she can look out the window.  Just about the time her BF gets home, she'll be all rested up and ready to go walking with him.  Notice I said him...I am merely an accessory when he's home...an extra pair of hands to scratch her, someone to interpret her dog talk to him as a further attempt to get him to do what she wants him to do, which is always the same thing--to take her on a walk.  Same old, same old, that never gets old--to her.

There's a new nest in Mary's arbor that a mother Mockingbird has built.  She has a small entry way though the roses covering the arbor and if you look closely, you can sometimes see her tail feathers, depending on which way she's facing.  I'll try to snap her sitting on her nest but if she flies out of there and tries to peck me or dive bomb me, you'll just have to use your imagination. Dive bombing birds freak me out and I may take an old tennis racket out there with me just in case.  No, I won't lob her one but I will keep her away if she flies at me....and she better not.  

I got a pic of her nest but she flew off nearby and wouldn't you know, I can't seem to get it to download here.  Will keep trying.  I'm having sooo much fun right now I can hardly stand myself since I am also on hold with AT&T trying to upgrade early.  After spending an hour at their store trying to get my phone to Skype--it won't-- I'm about to pull a Brittney Spears and shave my head.
 
The pic still won't load so I think I'll just do one frustrating thing at a time and deal with AT&T.  Wish me luck. 
                                                                  
                                                         

JT

This morning, we need to talk about Justin Timberlake.  Why?  I'm not really sure.  I just know I woke up singing "Suit and Tie" and then watched the SNL YouTube video with JayZ and laughed more.  I wanna dance like JT and be half as clever and talented.  And even when JayZ sings with him he's still cool vs going all  

white boy.  Those two together are pure genius and something I would never have seen coming.  Take that, Kanye.  (Kanye has a beef about "Suit and Tie" and it's because he's basically jealous.  And a turd. Once again Kanye tries to pot stir and ends up with both feet in mouth. Shuuudddup, Kanye.)

The fact that JT started out his career as a Mouseketeer makes me laugh even harder.  He so easily could have gone the nerdy weird track but he didn't.  And then, of course, there's the infamous "Junk in a Box" SNL skit that gassed our family one Christmas.  Here my entire family was, at a  nice French restaurant  having dinner together on Christmas Eve, with mom at the end of the table, as all the kids were singing "Junk in a box" and laughing.  Sooo Christmasy.  Mom didn't even know it was going on but the rest of us did and it was one of those memories you never forget. Go watch that on YouTube and try not to laugh.  Impossible.                                   

 Made you laugh, didn't it?

Have a great Saturday and don't forget to watch the Derby this afternoon.

TGIF

I just ran by to check out mom's room and it's blue all right.  Not bad.  Just my perfectionism kicking in full throttle.  I wish I'd have known to ask them to go 50% of the color but you never know that until it's on the wall and dry.  No sweat and no time for a test.  It's clean and fresh and that's what matters.  They will clean her carpet and move her back today or that's the plan anyway.  Her bathroom walls are now white and holy cow does it ever look better.  Case closed.

Lindsay Lohan.  Do we even need to go there?  I saw yesterday where she took 270 outfits to rehab and has now disappeared.  Anybody surprised?  Of course you aren't and the saddest part of this is, the girl needs to be in a lock down facility so she can get the help she so desperately needs, over a l-o-n-g period of time.  And even then, that's no guarantee.  Man...what a waste.

Have root stimulator, ready to mix.  Arturo will start transplanting tomorrow and I'm all set with my Thrive ready to douse all the plants he moves.  My little basil plants spent the night in the garage to stay warm and I moved them back out this morning to toast up in the sun.  Even Sis went out to lie on the warm concrete and soak up some sun.  Her dad's been out of town so her world has been upside down.  Every morning she has run to our bedroom and his bathroom just sure he's back there somewhere, and then whines when she can't find him.  Luckily, his plane should have landed by now so she'll get to see him later today.  Those two....they're a total love affair. 

 

May Day...May Day...OMG!

This was part of a text Brian sent our family last night. Hello, crawfish eatin' season!!  Maybe it's the camera being so close to the bowl but these almost look like small lobster tails.  Brian eyeing them made me laugh and Benji 's response, "OMG...where ARE you...how many pounds is that?" made me remember: you can move away from here, but you always take your taste buds with you.

Happy May Day!!!