Driving while old

My sister and I had lunch with my mom yesterday. Mom had called me to tell me she had just received a "wedding" invitation that was "a year old". Hmmmm. OK...I'll bite. First she told me it was from 1999--that would make it a lot older than a year but whatever. Then it was from Nov. 2009---"a whole year ago". And then is was actually a debut ball--not a wedding. For the life of her, she just could not get it that November was only two months ago, among other things. She has good days and bad days and I think it's clear what this one was..... Geeeeze. I hate this for her.

I quickly called my sister and told her what had just gone down, and said "we need to get her and take her to lunch and see how she functions....", so off we headed. I picked her up and intentionally threw her a curve ball by picking her up at the front door vs where I usually pick her up. All the better to assess her ability to function and adjust. Uh, oh........when I got there, she'd locked herself out between her condo and the security door. Not good, folks. At lunch she did fine, though she nearly came unglued when we discussed getting her a driver--ASAP. My sweet sister lets me do all the dirty works--sort of good cop, bad cop--so mom was royally pissed at me for bringing it up, even though she knows intellectually it's a good idea. In practice, it sucks....and I don't blame her a bit for feeling angry and I told her so.

I called her this morning to talk, (and see if she was still mad) and she wasn't mad as much as just not willing to discuss it. Hellooooooo, denial. She wanted "to talk about it later". OK, Scarlet...we'll do that. Mom's geriatrician is all over her to stop driving, and since I have her medical power of attorney, somehow this has become my dirty little job. Again. I had to do it with my dad as well. The biggest problem is, mom is smart like a fox--even with dementia. If I go over and "disable" her car, she'll just call Sewell to come fix it. I can get Sewell to tell her they can't fix it but she won't buy that for a second. She'll know, and just call someone else! I'm checking into the DPS seeing what they recommend....I'm fine for her to have a car--just not drive the damn thing. Maybe I'll just heist her keys but she can always call Sewell again. Knowing mom, hell, she'll call Carl Sewell at home. He used to live down the block from us and she'd do it in a heartbeat if she really got steamed.

Which brings me to, she is as feisty as they come. Back her into a corner and try to make her do something she's not 100% on board with, and you will see Bruce's bobcat, resurrected. I know I'm certainly not the only adult in this position. It still just suuuuuucks.