Just now I have had the freak out of the day. As I click on MSNBC, right smack in the middle of the screen pops a picture of a theme park in China, featuring dwarfs. I hate outing myself here but I'm gonna big girl up and just admit it: I am terrified of dwarfs and clowns. No lie. I totally lose it and exit stage left. The boys and Fred know it and they love nothing more than calling me to the den on some other crisis, only to have Little People, Big World, on TV. I guess they think it's hilarious to watch this fat gal run, and I do. In nursing school when we did our rotation at Scottish Rite, wanna guess what my patient was??? Yep, and he was only a baby and I still tried to get another patient. When I told my instructor I wanted to swap him, she, of course, wanted to know why. The infernal "whyyyyyy"? I finally told her, and she made me keep him. That was the longest three days of my life. And did I mention he was in a halo (bolted from head to hip in a metal doo dad--like an ex-fix).........gee....that was a huge help. I had to pick him up and turn him by just holding the metal and that was even more weird...he was just like a chunk of kiddo. A few of my very closest friends in school knew what the deal was and would come give me a break and talk me down off the ceiling. One of them had a patient with no legs--nothing-- and I loved him. He was like a little black ball and rolled all over his crib--and laughed. Mine? Not so much.

Now for the clown part and I know I'm not alone here. My worst nightmare on earth would be to see a dwarf clown or be trapped near one, with no exit. I will chew my way out--I promise you. Just like a dog. And don't give me the "clowns and dwarfs are people , too" lecture--I get that. This is not a rational fear here--this is sheer terror, initially. I guess I need to head to a desensitizing program for people with phobias but I'm not doing it! Nooooo. Too freaky.

P. S. Just trying to load this picture has made me almost hurl. If there are typo's in this, you can bet I'm not coming back to fix them. Just can't do it.