Holidays--Just how I see it

As I was showering (my office), where I do my best thinking, I decided to do a tell it like it is blog for the upcoming holidays.  The no holes barred, lay it on the line kind we all feel better after reading.  So, with that said, buckle up 'cause here are my thoughts.
1) Do not expect your husband/SO to understand what all goes into the cooking of a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, if he has not stood in the kitchen and helped you.  He doesn't know what he doesn't know, until you involve him.  Once he's done it --the chopping, the slicing, the stirring, the standing for hours and the incumbent backache to follow, suddenly he has a whole new frame of reference for all the work that's involved.  There's a sh** load of it--- and guys just need to get up off their a** and help.   And don't wait for them to volunteer--ain't gonna happen.  I'm not suggesting you play martyr (tried it--doesn't work) --just ask for help--HIS help.  Fred is now one of the finest sous chefs around and he's fun to have in the kitchen even if I have to watch Jason and the Argonauts or Secretos.  He makes me laugh but I have to tell him what I need.  He's NOT a mind reader.  If you don't want to host or cook this year, don't.  Just say NO.  It's a complete sentence.  You can still have the holiday even if you don't cook. 
2) Cut every corner imaginable so you won't get too tired.  Exhaustion is the enemy of any holiday or family gathering.  If you get too tired, your gonna be crabby.  If Uncle Butt Head only wants homemade rolls?  Great.  Tell him to either make some or bring some.  Otherwise, grab some Sister Schubert ones at Tom Thumb and don't burn 'em.  Plenty good enough.
3) The only person who is going to critique you is YOU.  You are the only person who is going to say it wasn't puuuuurfect.  Everybody else just wants to EAT and getter done.
4) Bury the 50's mentality FOREVER.  Don't buy into all that nonsense about how some body's mother made everything from scratch (manipulation), back in the day.  That was then and this is now and that's just horse sh**.  She only did because shortcuts hadn't been invented.  No woman in her right mind would slave if a super dooper alternative is right in front of her.  And, she wasn't working full time out of the home, either.  Different time, different options.
5) Make your kids help, too.  They are not "guests", though mine usually act like it until their momma gets a hold of them.  If you are hosting, they are hosting.  And don't make your kids eat turkey twice in one day, just so you can see them.  Once is enough for anybody.  Just like toddlers, we all need to share--even our kids.
6) Ask people what they'd like to bring or tell them what you need.  You do not have to do the whole deal.  Some "olders" may want to "retire" from bringing something-- and that's cool-- but if they want to eat, they can contribute, even if it's just something nominal like dish washing or drying, when the dishwasher gets full.  You are never too young or too old to help, so if they try to play that card, hand 'um a dish towel.  They ate, they can dry.  Guys, too.  Plus, this is when you hear some of the best stories...the old wisdom being handed down from the matriarchs, assuming they have any.  I'm not hatin' here....I'm just saying some do and some don't.

7) Cut yourself some slack and realize there is no way in hell you are going to please everyone, so do not  try.  Communicate what you need, don't get too tired, and just let it be what it is.  Reality check??  It's... just... one... meal.  And it comes again next year.  Just like the flu.