Yesterday afternoon, I went by for my usual check in on mom. She was awake but her room was hot as blazes even for her, so I cut that sucker way down, got her some cold water for her sippee cup, and she sucked down the entire thing. Back I went for a refill. She's always thirsty and with heat like that, it's no wonder. She told me she didn't feel good so after questioning her further, I went down the hall to get her something for a headache. She told me whatever it was tasted terrible and thanks a whole lot, which made me howl. The look she shot me told me she was very "present" and would like to strangle me for my efforts. Damn, she's funny.....
Once up to her wheelchair, her hair looked like a birds nest so I set about trying to do something with it, playing beauty parlor. I finally gave up and just brushed it and I could tell it felt good by the way she held her head and the look on her face. There's just nothing better in this world than having somebody else brush your hair and doodle with it. She was like a little old cat being scratched in just the right place.
I've gotten so used to doing a monologue when I visit her that when she responds back to me and its not gibberish, it throws me for a second. Yesterday was one of those days and it was great to be able to talk with her even for just for a few minutes, and know she was really "there". It makes it wonderful and awful, at the same time. She's there just long enough for you to see and feel what you're missing. Mom looked different to me, too. I called my sister to fill her in and who knows if she'll go soon. Quite frankly, I hope and pray she does. We'll see. God may have other plans.
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