Man, oh, man....the ravages of Alzheimer's have their claws in mom and won't let go.  I got two separate reports yesterday that mom had had a rough day, and I went by late in the afternoon to see if perhaps after a nap, she was feeling any less agitated and upset.  Well......no.  I hung around for about as long as I could stand it and then bolted for the car.  The person who was gibbering and upset was not my mother and it was simply too painful to watch.  I conferred with my siblings and we all just basically commiserated.  Then Bruce and I  grabbed dinner and I disappeared into mindless TV shows for mental and emotional escape TV.   Dang.  I am a really fun partner.

Being a glutton for punishment, I wanted to see if today might be any better, so after lunch I ran by with Bruce.  Mom was in the dining room but had barely eaten anything.  Still stuck in yesterday's black hole, mom was again clueless as to who I was, appeared angry and aggressive, and was gibber jabbering  yesterday's same old stuff.  Georgia, one of her wonderful care givers told me "Sister...we're just not having a good day and we aren't eating either".  Georgia had seen me try to feed mom with zippo success.  Georgia had already tried, too, and knows me well enough to know what I look like when my heart falls out on mom's lunch plate.  I hugged mom, thanked Georgia, and beat it out of there.  I immediately gave both of my siblings a heads up NOT to go over there if they didn't want to--mom was still status quo-- all three of us didn't need to experience it unless they just wanted a real Debbie Downer. 

On arriving back home, I decided to exercise my rose snipping privileges over at Mary's and took fat girl Sis with me.  I knew there wasn't anything I could do to help mom, so instead I needed to help myself.  Flowers always perk me up and even though Mary's roses aren't going full tilt yet, I snipped the ones that are my most favorites, and put them beside my bed to enjoy.  These smell like something out of this world and will cure what ails you if you smell them enough or that's my theory anyway.

I think I'll bathe Sis later on and wash her bed fluffies so they're fresh and soft for her after her bath.  If I  can't do anything for mom, at least I can do something for someone else.   It's amazing to me how much comfort an old black dog can bring me, and she sure delivers.