Indulge me here

Since tonight is traditionally the biggest party and drunk fest of the year, please do me a favor and do it at home and DO NOT DRIVE. Even if you don't plan on getting smashed, it happens. And everybody always thinks they can drive just fine. Memo to self: ya can't, so don't. If you are even thinking about it, run down to any major hospital ER and ask them to tell you some war stories about past New Years Eve's. And get ready to lose your lunch.

OK.....'Nuf said. Happy New Year to all and may 2010 rock all of our socks off--in a safe happy & healthy way!

Herdin' cats

I got a call last night from one of my son's who was out at the Ranch deer hunting. It seems he's taking some friends up to the Farm on New Years Day, and is frustrated since he can't seem to get everybody on the same page. His comment was "this is just like trying to herd cats..." and I had to agree. The funniest part is, we've had this same conversation about ten times now. I have gently pointed out that doing the same thing over and over again, DOES NOT generate different results, and he gets that--intellectually. It's the self awareness and actual changing (him) part that has him stumped. I listened until I thought my ear was going to fall off and then finally said "wellll.....you could do something different, ya know". And that's when the "yes, buts" started. All the reasons they needed to do it his way. And when I nicely pointed that out, we both were laughing. Welllll, yes, there is that.

I swear my kids keep me royally entertained. I'm sure that's probably not what he called to talk about--maybe it was since he knows I'll try to listen if he needs to talk. I reminded him not to stand in the middle of a cold rushing stream and try to force it to flow the other way, just because he thinks it should flow the other way. Reality check here: you're going to get real cold and miserable, not to mention exhausted, if you try it. (Ditto trying to herd those cats.) Accept that's just how this river flows and go do something else. Go be of service. Help an old lady with her groceries. Clean out your closet and give your old clothes to a homeless shelter. Go pester your Uncle John since he's out there with you and deserves it.
Sounds like a plan.

Blogstipation

Definition: oh, please...you can figure it out. I simply cannot think of a thing to blog about that's worth reading. I could do one on the worst behavior of 2009 but there are just too many to cull through and we already know who'd win. Tiger for being the biggest cheat and John Edwards for being the most political cheatin' son of a gun to cheat while on the campaign trail, and while his wife is terminal. See...that was easy.

Or, I considered briefly blogging on New Years Considerations. You know what I'm talking about...the stuff we all think about doing for the New Year. Some people call them "Resolutions" but to me, that's just a total set up for failure. And to then tell anyone that's what I plan to do is just verbal dynamite. Now, a consideration is different....I'm still thinking about it. No commitment, no failure. No harm, no foul. I can start "considering" at any time during the next 12 months, changes I might want/need to make, and then do them if/when I decide I'm ready. Hey....sounds loads better than a resolution, doesn't it, and I like the wiggle room.

She's here!

Avery has all her fingers--she's just gnawing on the middle one and acting all hungry. She weighed 7 lbs, 9 oz. and I have yet to find out how long she is--no one seems to know yet. And her hair is darker than Hudson's or Hadley's.
She was born at 12:34 pm and is adorable and no that's not me--that's my sister, Gretchen, or Go-Go, as her grand kids call her. Bruce and I are going to see her tonight, after dinner. I can't wait to unwrap this little enchilada!

2009 Buh bye

2009?? Not... going... to... miss... it... at... all, thank you very much. This year has not been easy for anyone and you can include me on that list. But it's also been one of incredible learning experiences so here's what I now know, cumulatively from the last 56 years. There won't be enough room for everything since I am really smart, so just go with me here.
Today I know that when my youngest son is trying to stuff everything he and his black belt shopper GF have collected, into her car, to drive back to Nashville, that it is not to the time to offer suggestions or opinions. Especially when you can feel his temperature rising, and the trunk won't close. Instead, I know to wander aimlessly back into the house and pour another cup of coffee and to take my time doing it. Since I will not be riding in the car for the next 9+ hours, this is not my business. I DO NOT HAVE AN OPINION HERE. (Or at least not one anybody wants to hear.) Opinions are like eye brows--every body's got them but nobody really cares about mine except me. Take note here. This is a vital lesson I have learned.

Next on my list is, just because I think it doesn't mean I have to say it or that it's even true. Especially if it's an opinion (or critical comment). Opinions aren't facts, contrary to what a lot of people think. And feelings aren't facts either. Both facts and opinions can change, if your mind is open to knew information. Note the word "if".
Today I know talking with my sons is a lot harder than it used to be....questions are a no-no. Statements are better. The less questions I ask them, the more likely they are to share with me. And if I want them to feel safe sharing with me, there better not be any judgement or criticism of what they say. I have learned to say the word the word "Hmmmmm" as I nod my head, indicating they have my full attention. It can also be accompanied by a flash elevation of one or both eyebrows, to indicate "wow...I'm still listening", if necessary. Once when I went for a long period with out giving any opinions I was told to "quit saying hmmmm and just tell me what you think". How refreshing is that...one of them actually wanted my opinion.

And in order to be safe for my sons to share with , I have to be willing to not repeat things they tell me, I have to remember they are adults with adult lives of their own, and while they used to be my little boys, they are now grown men. You'd think this would be easy--it's not.
Otherwise, I'm just an embarrassing mom....the kind they roll their eyes about. I have to constantly be on guard for where my life ends and theirs begins. There's no overlap anymore like there was when they were little. If I want them to want to be around me, I have to learn the rules and use them. Respect them and treat them just like I would a friend.
Wow...big stuff. For me, anyway.

P. S. Welcome, Anna...glad you outed yourself!

Avery Caroline Groth

Avery will c-section her way into the world right around lunch time today and I can hardly wait to see her, especially since none of us thought she'd stay in the hopper this long. She's bound to have tacked on a little extra weight which is a good thing for a newborn. ( Not so great for a great aunt of a certain age but I guess there's always Jenny Craig for that.) Since she's a c/s, her head will be all nice and round and not all cone headed so she should be camera ready at delivery.

As I am hopelessly un-hip, I just now found out about the Santa app. for iPhone users that has Santa call your kids/grand kids....or whoevers children you really want to mess with. And his picture shows up on the iPhone. Man....just think of the mileage you could get out of that....the possibilities for good kid behaviour are just endless.

This year sparked a new category for Christmas gift wrap at our house. No, it was not the no box, last minute watcha gonna do wrap, exactly. This was the "white business envelope category"...yep, it was a new one for me, too. But here's the clincher.....it was all decorated with a winter scene drawing, in ink, with Santa and his tiny sleigh flying away, up in the left hand corner, and mountains and snow covered trees. And it was hilarious. Since I had not had more than half a cup of coffee, I was a little bit rough (OK...maybe a lot rough) opening it, otherwise a picture of it would be posted here. This entry has set an all new parameter for gift wrap around our house. We are w-a-y past trash bag wraps, folks. This was high art.
I'll post a pic of Avery as soon as I have one for all the baby lovers. All 4 of you all who are followers. To any Lurkers, come on and join the followers--they won't bite.

I want it...and I want it NOW

Oh, man...I've got it bad for a Big Green Egg. I soooo wanna be an Egghead. I just can't help myself. But I've made it almost three weeks since I heard about them so my Big Egg detox program must be working. For anyone not in the know, a Big Green Egg is a ceramic grill, smoker, outdoor cooker extraordinaire, that literally does it all. You can even bake a pie on the damn thing.
I've researched them on the internet and tasted smoked chicken cooked on it so now I just need to rob a 7-Eleven in order to pay for one of these babies.
For the price, though, you at least ought to be able to sleep in it or drive it or something...and naturally, I want the package--the whole samoa, baby. None of this piecing it together stuff. Oh, no. And then I'm going to thaw half of the freezer contents, fire it up (it only takes ten minutes) , pile it on, and go watch a movie.
There's just one little problem....someone around here who technically would be directly benefiting from my Egg, has not volunteered to buy it for me. And that's a problem. For him.
Now, yes, I could spring for this myself.....but that wouldn't be any fun, would it?