Don't tell Fred!

I know if I put that as a title, anyone who reads this blog is going to run immediately and rat me out to Fred, and they might as well.  He'll find my stash sooner or later.  Remember how I told you the Festive Kitchen was having a freezer sale, or maybe I just think I told you, but whatever.  Today is the last day and I held out as loooong as I could, but I finally went.  And they weren't kidding when they said they were having a freezer sale because I followed the lady back to it, and immediately fell in love.   There sat all different types of cookie dough, just a waitin' for some sugar deprived person to come take 'um home--to a 375 degree oven. Uh, huhhhh, baby.

Since my baby boy and soon to be Groom is coming home next weekend for a wedding Andrea is in, I figured it was about the best reason I could come up with for buying three more different flavors, juuuuust to have ready, in case we had a cookie emergency while he's here.  Seriously...those happen.  Usually they happen later in the Fall during a weekend football game on TV or when it gets cool at night but, hey.....the cookies were on sale--- and now I'm ready.  All I need now is an enormous cold front and the temp to drop to the 50's.  If I'm lucky, that'll happen right around the first of November.

** I knew you wanted to know what kinds I got so here goes: red velvet with white chocolate, white chocolate /cranberry "Ooey Chewy" for Fred, and my personal favorite Oatmeal Apricot Pecan.  And then I got a frozen green chili chicken quiche that I'm going to make without the pie crust.  I'm saving my carbs for the cookies.    

Random thoughts

Just when I thought I could totally skip another season of DWTS, they announced last night that Carson Cressley will be one of the competitors this season.  For those that don't know, he was one of the guys on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, way back when, and is possibly one of the funniest people alive.  He's done lots of other stuff too but suffice it to say, now I have to watch, at least until he's eliminated.  He should be fairly athletic and coordinated since he is a former Equestrian rider and I think rode in the Olympics a ways back, so he could hang in for awhile, with enough fan support.  I'll have to google that for sure-- but that's no easy sport.  As a hilarious gay man, can you imagine what his costumes may be??  Oh, I can hardly wait.

Is it just me or could you also go indefinitely without hearing another word from Dick (better known a "Ick") Cheney, and most especially about his new book?  Admittedly, I have not read his book, nor do I plan to, but from what little pub (publicity) I've unintentionally heard, it sounds to me like an arrogant tattle tale tell all from his angry, skewed perspective.  No wonder the guy has terrible heart disease....he's so angry his head could explode. 

Lastly, I received the application from the Dachshund Rescue people and it's clear by all the information they ask you, they really want you to think  about adopting another dog, before you do it.  I filled it out all right, but now I'm seriously rethinking another dog....maybe that's not exactly where I am right now.  If it was, that thing would have already been mailed, and it's sitting right here beside me.  I learned a loooong time ago that if it's not a "yes", it's a "no". 

SPANX, a girl's best friend

Today was the moment of truth:  I took all my clothes to be fitted for the wedding.  It's always fun to me to see what a knowledgeable tailor can do.  Suddenly something that looked merely nice when you bought it, looks really nice when she's all done-- even with pins all over it.  Now, I must confess I had on my one piece Spanx of Death contraption, so I must give credit where credit is due.  Does it give you uni-butt?  Sort of, "butt" (a little pun there) I'm okay with that.  And it flattens "the girls" a little, but that can be fixed, and it sure beats the jiggly alternative.  I figured I also better road test it today to see if I could stay in it longer than the blink of an eye.  The verdict?  I love it, and I wasn't even hot in it, though lots of people said I would be.  It was in the 90's today when I had it on, so I think it passed with flying colors.

It was a LOT harder the first time I tried it on, but this time it was pretty easy.  It slid right on!  Fred was dying to "help me" or watch me put it on, and I told him to just..... go....to....the ...office.  If  I was gonna be embarrassed, I sure wasn't doing it with a damn audience or him donkey braying.

  Now, since I mentioned it's a one piece, I already know what you're thinkin' and, yes, you can--at least number 1.  I know because I practiced.  If the need for number 2 should arise, you better seek  professional help immediately.  You better head for the nearest Fire Station, 'cause in a hurry, you're  gonna need the jaws of life to get you out of that thing.  And, you're gonna be buck naked afterwards, because that whole thing has to come off.  Moral of the story?  Do not take a laxative prior to wearing, or wear it if you have "the runs"-- this is not the garment for you.  You are just gonna lose that battle and loose it BIG.  Don't go there.


Now, is that TMI (too much information) for some people?  Maybe.  But you kept on readin', didn't ya?  I knew you would.  :)

The Hamberdog vs a Girly Man's Double Double

Yesterday after Big Red left, we went about our usual Saturday routine which includes lunch at the Burger House.  We usually hit the one on Lovers Lane, sit at the counter inside, and eat the grilled chicken salad sans fries, with a diet coke.  Pancho always takes our order, and Jose', if he's there, always holler out "Hello, Caroline and Bruce!" and sometimes Pancho just says "the usual?", and we nod.  Jose' knows everyone by name is and like some kind of order taking savant when it comes to names. We love the BH, it works, and it keeps us on our diet.  Yesterday, though, Pancho wanted to know if we just didn't like burgers, since we always order the salads.  Fred and I rolled our eyes and told him one of the main reasons we like to come inside and sit at the counter, is so we can see all the burgers that some lucky person is going to get to eat, that's NOT us.  We told him we're due for a splurge here pretty soon and since he's the milkshake guy, we may just throw him a bone, too.  Then Jose' chimes in with "Well... then you all need to try the Hamberdog".  OMG.

To put it simply, a Hamberdog is a gluttonous combo of a double- double, and two slit down the middle open faced dogs, all between one burger bun.  It's your call if you want to add grilled onion, chili, jalapenos, or bacon.  I guess you lift it with a crane, and fries are extra.  We asked Jose' if he sells many and he said they did at first, but I guess those people died, since he told us orders have tapered off.  We love to listen to people's pick up orders, too, and the one that got us yesterday was the person who called in, to the BURGER HOUSE, and ordered a single grilled cheese sandwich, on a burger bun.  No fries, no drink.  A grilled cheese, thank you very much.  Honey...could you not fix that at home?  Fred and I almost fell of our stools, laughing.

Lastly, Fred just had to know the biggest meat-cheese burger they've ever sold that someone has successfully consumed, and as of yesterday, it was a 28x28.  That's 28 meat patties and 28 slices of cheese, stacked in two stacks, side by side, with a bun, served in one of their red baskets.  I bet that person didn't eat again for a week. 

Adios, Big Red

While I don't want to speak too soon here, and because this has happened before, I'm going to bite my tongue until it actually happens but it looks like Big Red may be giving up her space in our driveway, to go be repaired.  I'm voting she has a hysterectomy (no motor) but that's just me.  Seems like I'd be celebrating, right??  The downside is, that just puts Crashman one step closer to actually driving Big Red again--a fact I'm not crazy about at all.  The good news??  It's none of my business and nobody wants to know or cares about, what I think.  If they want my opinion, they'll ASK for it, and until then, it's just a simple case "shutskie".  I may gnaw off my own tongue.

Mary left Thursday to drive to Virginia with her daughter and grand daughter, and it rained the minute she left.  Her house looks all sad and lonely and boy, am I glad I'm not doing all the upkeep over there.  She'd already let her yard practically burn to a crisp, so that's another thing I'm grateful I'm NOT responsible for tending.  It will be interesting to see what happens, and whether she decides to live with her daughter for good, or not.  With all of her friends here, that would be a really tough call.  In some ways, it would be nice if she did, even if just for awhile, to give the son who lives here a break.  Man, he deserves one.  Tending to our aging parents is tough duty, I don't care how you slice it.

The big excitement on our block this week was a burst water main on Wednesday.  I almost managed to wangle going out to dinner due to no water.  Water was shooting up through the asphalt, and rushing down the street and just seeing that much water was shocking, in this drought . They said it would take two hours to repair and it took a tad bit longer but was back on in plenty of time for dinner. Thanks a bunch, guys.  It was sickening to see all that water rushing down the sewer.  I wish I could have diverted it to our yard, to water our thirsty plants and trees, but that's way over my pay grade.

Oh, Lordy.....the tow truck cometh.  Big Bass Towing--sounds just like a company Brian would call. Big Red is being loaded as I type.  I probably should go tell her goodbye.  Ooops.  Too late.  I may go dance in the driveway instead.

Religious Intolerance

I was talking about this yesterday with a good friend and neither of us could understand this subject.  We started with how we both feel totally comfortable giving other people the right to believe what ever they want.  We each admitted that while it might not float our boat, if that's what works for them, okey dokey.  And just for the record, we're not talking Jhadist extremism.  Killing in the name of "your religion" doesn't qualify as a religion, in my book.  Anyway, what got both of us is that while we give others free reign to believe what they choose, seldom, if ever, do they extend the same courtesy and right, to us.

It's as if religious tolerance only flows one direction--theirs.  I've had people tell me I was "wrong" if I didn't believe every word in the Bible, that I was going straight to Hell if I didn't believe exactly what a certain religion required me to believe, and further, that it was their job to turn my wayward ass around--whether I asked for their assistance or not.  If I didn't believe exactly what they believed, somehow I was wrong.  On came the judgement, on came the criticism, on came the "you're wrong and I'm right" attitude, all in the name of religion.  Does any of that sound like a religion you'd want to have any part of??  Does any of that sound like something you've read in the Bible??  Where's the love, peace, and tolerance in that?  Now, while I have never studied comparative religion, I'm going to be hard pressed to believe that any religion preaches intolerance, except the one I referred to earlier that I don't call a religion anyway.  If there is one, that one's sure not for me.  Noooooo, thank ya.

To both my friend and I, the thing that was most hilarious is, the people who act this way see themselves as "carrying God's word", and are completely unable to see how their actions, do not match "the word" they are supposedly carrying.  To me, this is the kind of stuff My Creator laughs his tail off over and just tells me to love them anyway, and that I might want to keep my distance from them.  He has such a great sense of humor.  I really like Him.

And that's just how I see it.

Ooops!! His name is Arnie--not Ian

In my dog adoption insanity, I misread the part about having to have another pet.  What it really says is that you have to verify that you may have a pet, where you live--not that you have to already have one.  Geeze....I've lost it completely.  :)