I have a solution to the surge needed for Afghanistan and Iraq. How about we round up all the after Christmas shoppers--the mall crazies--and ship them over to fight. Clearly these people have the fighting mentality....hey, they're at the mall fighting for bargains. All we'd have to do is retrain them--credit card vs gun. Both are weapons. And then we could do a little land mine, IED, and weaponry training and voila' ....instant army. Shoot....they're already used to carrying bags of heavy stuff so they're practically combat ready.
Attire might be a problem, however. I'm not thinking those baggy camo wanna be suits are going to be a big seller with the mall crowd but maybe a designer could work on that...... and the boots....well, right now there's nothing hotter than boots so that parts easy. Boot style could be an issue but once they're over there, what are they going to say....."I don't like my boots".... and who do you think is gonna listen? That would be nobody.
I'm thinking we could get our government to start a few Starbucks over there....sort of a nice comfort measure and we're thinking of you type gesture for the shoppers turned snipers. I know caffeine is totally verboten to both cultures but hey, these are American mall shoppers. They're gonna need lots of caffeine, and that familiar paper cup with the plastic lid that just says home (mall).
Food could be our biggest obstacle....mall food is just not going to be do-able over there but I bet they'd get used to those MRE's (meals ready to eat) eventually, and if they're on base, they get military cuisine--whatever that is. Jello, powdered eggs, whatever.
Folks, this could work.
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