Life--lived forward-understood by looking backward

I went to visit my friend yesterday morning, for a java break, whose husband committed suicide several months ago. We'd been planning it for a few weeks but she had a few things that got in the way so yesterday, it finally happened. I said my prayers before I went that I might be of service to her--whatever that might look like. Two and a half hours later, coked up on caffeine, I headed all two blocks home. And we could have talked on--for days. I guess women are just like that. You name it--we covered it--even the painful parts about her husband. The more she told me, the more I understood and puzzle pieces fell into place-- for both of us. I told her how much I missed him--that every time I pass one of his houses (he was a builder) , I think of him and even look for his car, where I used to see it parked all the time. Boy, howdy...I miss him.

She cried, she laughed, she got mad at someone else's gross stupidity and the potential fall out, and out poured raw honesty the likes of which I have never experienced with her. She let it out and good for her. Grief is just...grief. I assured her that whatever we discussed stayed right there in her den--that whatever she told me went to the Ziploc, with me. (I want to cremated and put in one.) And it wasn't all one sided--she told me some things about my dad, and what he had done for her, that I had never known. She went on to reveal to me, a side of my dad that I had never known, never experienced. I had known she respected my dad but had not known the impact he had had on her life. Up rushed memories from our childhoods and we told each other what each other's parents had meant to us--her mom inspired my love of cooking, and I use her recipes to this day. Her parent had provided a type of "old school" structure for me that was important and nurturing.

My dad had guided her through her college years and had gotten her into the MBA program at SMU, ( she claims the program was already closed) because he'd advised her this was something she really needed to do, before Law School. She says he was absolutely on target, for her and her goals, and she has never regretted getting her MBA, though she now has her JD.

And as a result, she said she has told all of her kids and their friends, to look around at their friends parents, and see who you really admire. ASK them about their careers, what they'd recommend for you, things they'd try today, potholes they'd avoid, etc. They are a treasure trove of knowledge and experience, right there for the asking, free of charge. Make these people your mentors or at least ask them if they'd mind guiding you and then listen to what they tell you. And if it resonates, do what they suggest. You never know...it might just work out. Great advice, no??