Break out the life boats--floods ahead

Jeeze...I'm trying to shake off, and coffee off, the results of yesterday's emotional hangover.  I did not see my blowout coming, and that's the part I hate the most.  But, it served it's purpose to get it all out and here's what happened.  In all this planning to move mom, I forgot to take care of myself emotionally--I forgot to s-l-o-w down long enough to actually feel my feelings, which is never a good idea, so by yesterday after my Pilates class, driving home, I lost it.  Big time.  I boohooed the entire way from Preston Center to our house, and that was just part I.

Luckily, I remembered that grief is equal parts anger and sadness, so once home, I let my anger rip as well, and told some people who deserve it, exactly what I think of them, in the privacy of my own home, with them none the wiser.  I said every ugly thing I've wanted to say, for years, but knew not to, at the top of my lungs, with only Sis as a witness--and part of the time she was outside in the backyard.  And then Benji called, and when I heard his voice, the dam broke again.  Funny how that works.......and the tsunami hit the shores again, for part II.

I was able to be totally honest with him and tell him how I felt about watching mom deteriorate and how this next move is a tough one for me.  I filled him in on a few other things/people I won't print here, but let's just say, he got it, and was the kindest, sweetest, most supportive son I could have wished for and...yep....another meltdown for me.  Part III.  Gee....nothing like calling your mom and having her pull a tear fest on you.  I had not wanted to tell him all of the "stuff", since planning a wedding is stressful enough without your mom adding to it, and today I know, being straight up honest, is the way to go.  He's not a big boy--he's a MAN.

Let me just close by saying that undoubtedly, I have the MOST WONDERFUL SON and soon to be DAUGHTER-IN-LAW in the entire world, and I love them beyond words, especially considering my command of the English language isn't all that great.  Mature, fun, reasonable, empathetic, and smart are just a few of the words I'd use to describe them.  I am one lucky gal!

 Last night while I was watching the end of Modern Family, Sis somehow knew her old May-May had hit a rough patch, so she preceded to "announce" that she was jumping up into my lap, and then jumped.  During her stay, she loved on me, licked my face, put her head down on my chest, pawed me gently, and did her best to comfort me.  How in the world people live without animals is just beyond my grasp.