Love HURTS

My denial ability ranks right up there with the best of them but there's one thing I can no longer deny.  It's time for Wigman, Wiggins Piggins Po, Mr. Pigglesworth, to catch the Dogtown Train and he has a ticket today on the 5:45pm train.  You all know I've been struggling with this as have my sons, and Fred, but it's just time and maybe even past time.  It occurred to me today around lunchtime that perhaps all this whining and moaning was really a "Hey, May....I'm not so happy here and could you give me a lift to the train Depo" vs just old man dog stuff.  Over the last few weeks and months, he's become more and more my shadow but today is different....he's in the dog bed in the den and Sis is with him, as if they are saying goodbye.  She is going to mourn like crazy without him, since she doesn't know life any other way.  And frankly, after sixteen and a half years with him, I don't know how to do life without him.  But I will, though there will definitely be an enormous gaping hole in my life where his little brown suit used to be, and a hole in my heart you could fly a jet through.

The toughest part about this for me is, Wiggles has gotten me through so much crap and knows all my secrets, and hasn't blabbed a single one.  He's Mr. Trustworthy.  Mr. Supportive.  Mr. Love Dog.  And he knows I love him more than chocolate ---even more than sugar--because I've told him.  I've already cried three times today and know I have lots more in there to go but I also have a firm resolve that it's the right thing, especially after my coffee break with AB, Bruce's cousin.  There's just nothing in this world any better than having your feelings validated by someone who really gets it, and cries along with you in Starbucks.  

So with that, I'll close and spend what time I have left with my extraordinary man-dog I have had the privilege to know and love, for the past sixteen years.  Man, I'm gonna miss him....