Air travel

Today I want to talk about travel and specifically air travel.  I love to travel.  That's no big secret but I'm getting to the place where all the fun's getting beaten right out of it so much so that unless there's really someplace I'm a hankering to go, I'd rather stay home and watch a Rick Steve's DVD.  Especially when you can fast forward through stuff you really don't care about and somewhere that's just NOT on your bucket list anyway.  But let's get back to the real nut of the matter:  airline travel sucks, unless you are flying first or business class on someone else's nickle or using your miles, and a big fat good luck on that if you aren't a triple diamond set in Platinum member, with sprinkles on top.

Spirit Air lines.  Are you ever going to fly that nonsense?  I'm not, and it's because they nickle and dime you to death over everything.  $2 to print out your boarding pass at the airport kiosk.  $5 if you do it at check in with a live human being.  $30 to check a bag otherwise yours needs to fit under the seat in front of you, like that's really going to happen.  What do they do with the luggage bins, put small children up there?  

United Air lines.  Meanest people on the face of the earth, bar none.  I'd rather walk.

Air Tran.  I've flown them once and they were late.  They are 1 for 1.  No thanks.

American.  Unless they merge, don't even get me started. 

Frontier.  I like the painted animals on their planes, so does that count for anything?

Delta.  Haven't flown them in ages but they used to have really good coffee.

Southwest.   Hands down, my favorite because if nothing else, they get you there on time.  They used to be hilarious and fun--not quite as much these days--but still good if you can handle the no frills and, honey, I can.  Too bad they don't fly Internationally yet, but I understand they will. 

Essentially, unless you want to be frustrated out of your mind with late departures, broken down nasty planes, all for the privilege of being treated like a herd of cattle, I'm staying home.  I'll fly in my comfy armchair, stretch my legs out on the ottoman, and eat real food while I watch my DVD's of the world.  And Sis can fly with me in my lap.  Want to know something else?  I doubt Al Qaeda is plotting to blow up my chair.