Jury Duty Hell

What a whippin'.....Yesterday I had Jury Duty and got home at 6 pm. I knew it was possibly going to be bad--I was just not prepared for HOW bad. And bad just does not adequately cover it. The first group I was assigned to rode the escalator up to the fifth floor court room only to find the guy copped a last minute plea, since he was a child molester. I nearly hurled at that revelation. There is no way I could have sat on that jury. Back down to the Main Jury room we went. Across the room I spotted a friend and since our numbers were called together for yet another potential case, we clung to each other like barnacles on a sinking ship. She is also a legal assistant so that made it even better--I could get the skinny on the defendant's attorney. Turns out the charge in this case was going to be first degree murder and the guy looked like a big blond young ex-football player, and he just made my blood run cold. He must have pretty deep pockets, too, since his attorney was one of the top criminal defense attorney's in Dallas. Enough of that. I am not a murder gal.
I made sure I got myself disqualified by raising my hand a couple of times when they asked if you could or could not, do something. And it was the truth--it just also happened to be my ticket out of there, not that they were even interested in me in the first place. I was just making sure.

And if all that wasn't horrifying enough, the Courtroom next door had either a witness or a male attorney, who was a dwarf. I saw him as he walked towards the courtroom door and almost lost it. Oh, my GOD....I am in Frank Crowley Courthouse hell. My friend didn't know about my little issue with dwarfs--she just saw me turn white, spin around, and look panicked, and when I finally told her, she laughed so hard other jurors wanted to know what I'd said. Luckily, she didn't out me to all of them, but all we both could think of was what if we'd been assigned to that courtroom as potential jurors? How do you tell the court, or even the judge privately, that you can't be on this jury because somebody in here is a dwarf???