Secrets

Secrets. Everybody's got one but man, are they dangerous business. And the bigger they are, the more dangerous they are. And family secrets are the worst. Boy, I will never forget knowing a secret about my cousin's mom, that my cousin didn't know, but was soooo close to figuring out it was eery.
She knew her parents marriage was not a happy one and had even gone so far as to check the dates on their marriage license to be sure she wasn't the reason they had gotten married. You know...the old shot gun wedding. The worst part was, I had to sit back and watch her wrestle with the situation when she was only missing one big puzzle piece. She even went to therapy over this (and some other stuff) prior to the two of us becoming close and her talking to me about why her mom had married her dad.

This went on for two years with us just talking until one day, she completely lost it and told me "I know there's a secret....I just don't know what it is." Oh, Lord....what to do now. Do I tell someone else's "business" and risk losing the relationship of both she and her mom, or do I just watch my cousin cry and stumble around blindly so close, yet sooo far from the actual truth. What would I want for myself? If she asked for my help, was it OK to give it and under what circumstances.? I fretted, I prayed, I consulted someone I trust, and I prayed some more. I finally decided that if she asked me again, I would help her. And, of course, she did.
When she brought it up, I finally acknowledged for her that indeed there was a secret--but it was not mine to tell. I told her to ask her mom , at a time when it was just the two of them together to please tell her the secret she was keeping. I told her "Your mom may not be able to tell you the first time you ask so I want you to ask her on three separate occasions, in a really safe environment, so hopefully she can open up, but if she doesn't, after that, I will."

Wanna guess what happened? Her mom wouldn't cough. Seriously. Three separate occasions, three separate denials. C'mon......I'm dying here. So, my cousin in tears, asks me, and I woman-ed up, and told her. The result? A little initial shock, and then total relief. She said "I knew it was something like that...I just couldn't quite put it all together". As it turns out, her younger brother already knew. Case closed. No one died. And now, her mom is a real person, instead of someone who was too afraid to be honest, with her own daughter. No secret is worth that. And now everyone is free. No more secrets.