Boundaries...got any?

(This is an old post, but one of my favorites.  Enjoy, and if the shoe fits, wear it. :)


Since this is my blog, I get to talk about whatever I want so if this one isn't your cup of tea, OK, fine. But here goes: have you ever had someone keep on ragging you about something that 1) you'd already discussed 2) they didn't get you to do what they wanted you to do so they circled the wagons and tried again 3) simply could not step back and recognize that saying it one more time was not going to impact you one bit 4) that you are not them ?  I've come to understand that people who don't respect your boundaries are sending you a very clear message: your boundaries are inconvenient and slow them down getting what they want.  Your needs?  They don't matter.

Which brings me to my favorite lecture: Boundaries. Boundaries are like hula hoops. Slip one on over your head and hold it waist high. It's a cozy fit and yet has a fair amount of room. Now, here's the good part: everything on the inside of the hula hoop back towards you, is YOURS and YOUR BUSINESS. Everything outside your hula hoop is NOT.                      
 It's fascinating to me how many people just cannot or choose not, to get this.  Especially family.  Oh, Lordy....they are the worst offenders.  They think that somehow because they have an opinion, that it's their job to tell you how to do your life, what's best for you, what you should do, because they want you to do what they want you to do. Seldom does it occur to them that this might be disrespectful to you and your intelligence, arrogant on their part, manipulative, not what YOU want to do, and "not inside their hula hoop".  Nope. They just want what they want. And they try to make YOU wrong for not doing what they think you should do.

 People who are continually disrespectful of my boundaries won't see a whole lot of me. They are entitled to their opinions, thoughts, and feelings---and if they continue to disregard my boundaries, they'll still be having their opinions, thoughts and feelings--just without ME. When people show you or tell you who they are, believe them.