Sorry if this is a downer but the death count continues. And between suicides, accidents, and old age, the count is now close to 10 or so and growing. Wow...just a good reminder that it sure does make sense to "have your bags packed" so to speak, since none of us ever know when our ticket is punched (unless you punch it yourself and even then, gee...who knows how that works.) Anyway, I'm looking at each day with a little bit sharper eye and a deeper concentration. I am focusing on the things I choose to do--and really looking at what needs to happen that's within my power to make happen. In other words, doing my job, my part--the legwork that's mine.
If I've made a commitment, did I keep it? If I said I'd visit a cat, did I do it? And yes, I did yesterday. I called old DC and out of the bushes he came trotting, looking surprisingly better. My diagnosis is, he's moving right along in the grief process and is kind of a 'ho. As long as he's getting fed, being given some treats and the occasional brushing, he's sort of a loaner anyway and will cope just fine. I guess maybe that goes along with being a strictly outdoor guy, unlike Muff, who is a total wimp.
Which brings me to karma....bumpy segue I admit, but that's just where my brain went. Do you believe in what goes around, comes around....you get back what you dish out? Whoa...I sure do and the older I get, the more I see it play out. (I don't know why anybody wants to be younger 'cause you miss all the good stuff. Once you've gotten a little mileage under your hood, you see stuff.) Anyway, I've watched someone I don't care for wreck havoc (I can't give out too many details since it involves our family business and our not so wonderful judicial system) over and over again, and now the tide seems to have turned somewhat, and not of our making. This person who has done irreparable damage, lost her own daughter last week, to a blood clot. I wouldn't wish that kind of loss and pain on anyone--not even her--and it sure is interesting to see what happens when you take the high road, because it's the right one to take, even when you'd love to get down in the gutter and go for it like a bunch of old alley cats.
Ten or fifteen years ago, I'd have probably done just that--if not physically, then mentally. I'd have ripped this woman from one end to the other (in my head) and sacrificed my own serenity and happiness in the process. And all that would have done is let her win. As it is, I feel so sorry for her. Having been through the events with Crashman this summer, and the thoughts and fears that he might not live, a brand new sense of compassion arose for someone I don't really care for. I have been able to put this person and her entire family in my prayers daily. As a mom, I got w-a-y too close to where she is now, almost losing someone irreplaceable to me. I'm no saint here and that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying if you pay attention, you might just get the lesson you are supposed to get. In my experience, God just keeps giving me the same lesson, over and over until I get it. He may dress it up a little differently, but it's the same lesson, when I look closely at it. And since the big lessons are generally painful, I'd just as soon get the lesson on the first go round. It tends to just amp up in the pain department, each time I have to repeat it.
And that's what I know today.
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