As I sip my coffee and look out at my front yard, I am reminded that one holiday month ends today and another begins tomorrow. In the Black Friday and Cyber Monday chaos and craziness, I am so thrilled not to participate. Today I know I have choices. Lots of them.
Many years ago, I thought I didn't have any choices and in some cases I didn't. Those days are gone. Long gone. This holiday season I plan to do more service, go in love, be kind, help others where I can, and take care of myself first--not last. Like they tell you on a plane, if the cabin loses pressure, put on your own oxygen mask first. Then you can really be of help to others.
Lots of us growing up learned that backwards. We were told that to take care of ourselves first was somehow wrong, selfish, self centered. Nothing could be more untrue. If I take care of myself first, I have something left over to share. If I don't .....well, you get the picture.
Resting, avoiding the insanity where it lurks, honoring myself and my feelings, honoring yours, getting outside in nature, being with little kids, and loving you from a distance-- if that's what's required-- is still LOVE. LOVE is not a one size fits all emotion. It looks different at everyone's house and in everyone's lives. For some people, love has to look a certain way for it to truly be categorized as love, or it doesn't count. It has to fit in a certain predetermined mold and we all have to act a certain way, whether that's how we feel or not. Yikes. That's not love. That's control. That's dysfunctional.
This holiday season I'm concentrating on recognizing and knowing my own limits. I'm going to endeavor to really feel all my feelings--even the uncomfortable ones. I'm going to laugh more and angst less.
Today that's where my true joy and peace reside.
*** Please remind me of this if I take a pre-Christmas nose dive. Repetition strengthens and confirms.***