Why are families so damn difficult? As we approach the holiday season, I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it. Why is it that we all have someone in ours that we just frankly cannot stand and sometimes it's more than one? Why can't it just be like it looks, on the fronts of most holiday magazines where it looks all cozy, happy, and warm with a touch of snow vs. angry, irritable, and dishonest, with everyone stuffing their real feelings and wanting to be anywhere but where they are? And why do we all do this, year after year? You know why....it's because we're afraid. OMG....what if we pissed somebody off? What if they rejected us? What if we started a new tradition? What then??
I'm not suggesting we all go postal--I am suggesting we all take a look at what bothers us. If I can't stand someone and find they are just too toxic for me to be around, I can choose to limit my contact with them or choose not be around them, period. I can also use the forbidden holiday and family word, "NO". Or even No Thank You.
I can decline, not attend, and make alternative plans that are joyous and fun, and move on, folks. In other words, I can take care of ME. I don't get to make choices for anyone else--just myself. I also don't get to manipulate others in order to get my way, but that's the advanced course, so keep reading. I realize what I am saying will most likely shock the ever lovin' you know what out of some people. Others, not so much.
If I say NO, will I most likely be called selfish & self centered? Count on it. Will it kill me? Not a chance. But stuffing my feelings will. So go ahead. Do it anyway. You're worth it.
(OK, if this doesn't get some comments, nothing will.)
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