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Saturday, October 24, 2009

OK...I've got a bone to pick

While staying over at my neighbor's house last week, during the no water crisis, I looked through the October issue of Martha Stewart "Living" magazine.  In specific, I looked at the daily reminder calendar of what "Martha will be doing", each day.  OMG....I nearly wet my pants laughing.  Does Martha really think anyone's buying that fact that she does all that?  Horse pucky.  Here were a few of her reminders:  Pick apples-bake a tarte Tatin.  Take down screens and put up storm windows.  Make preserves with hardy kiwifruits.  And my personal favorite:  Check for drafts and repair broken seals.  I could go on and on but my question is simply this:  what the hell is she smokin'? 
Can't you just picture Martha taking down the screens and putting up the storm windows?  Or checking for drafts and repairing broken seals?  No doubt she could bake a tatin or make preserves but do you really think that's what she doing?  Nah. 
There is also a shot of "honey from my hives".  Are you really thinking old Martha tends a bunch of beehives??  Or that plump squash picture?  You think she actually planted & grew that, herself?  Hell, no.
I think it's simply hysterical that she sets herself up as a combination Heloise, Julia Childs, Bunny Williams, & Superwoman, all rolled in to one.  NO ONE is an authority on all that stuff.  And it just slays me that Martha makes sooo much money off the "assumption" that she really knows all that stuff, when she clearly has a staff of minions who do it for her.
They research everything and then hand it to her, think up her crafts, perfect them, and then teach them to her.  In other words, she rips off their ideas and then laughs all the way to the bank. 
And here's the worst part:  I enjoyed the magazine.  Damn...I wish I was that smart.

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