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Thursday, April 5, 2012


This morning I woke up sad.  Man, I hate that.  It will pass, so for the time being I am just sitting in it.  I used to try to run from my feelings if they were uncomfortable.  Today I know better.  Feeling them, honoring them, and then letting them pass, is the way to go for me to handle them these days.  I'm thinking the no puppy news and watching mom die, coupled with the latest two books I just read where someone or something died, haven't helped either.  Coincidence??  Nah.

Just typing this made me start laughing.  Mom is NOT dead yet and Sis is sitting in her favorite chair in the other room, waiting for me to ask her what she'd like to do this morning.  Because it is beyond beautiful outside, we may just head out shortly and take a walk.  Or, we may head over to Mary's yard and cut roses for the house.  We have 100% cutting privileges so I'm thinking that might be fun and Sis loves going over there to snoop.

The reality is, grief is just a process.  It takes time.  Lots of time.  Yes, there are things I can do to feel better like journaling, making a gratitude list, going and doing for others, to get out of myself.  But sometimes, I just need to sit in my stuff and wait for the feeling to pass.  That's the part I hate....I'm not a good waiter.  I just want to feel the good stuff and fast forward through the crummy part.  I'm guessing that would make me human. We all get our lessons through pain--not when things are all rosey.  Man...whose idea was that.

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