Wow. Sometimes I realize I don't know which path to take. Last night was a perfect example. The holiday dinner on mom's unit. The few from her unit who attended with family, were all light years more capable than mom. They had dolled mom all up--make up, fluffed her hair, and some of her new clothes--but what I keep remembering is how cold she was in the dining room, (we got her a blanket) and how after awhile, she simply shut down. Plus, the "fluffers" didn't know mom before she came to the unit, so how they dolled her up didn't look a thing like her. They couldn't possibly have known that and I do not blame them. It was just another layer of added weirdness. Dinner with someone who is your mother, but looks nothing like her.
At first she tried to enjoy herself, tried to talk, then came the yawns, and by the time the salad course came, it was time for her jammies. We fed her beef tenderloin, scalloped potatoes, and vegetables, warm jalapeno cheese bread, and she drank her favorite Cranberry juice and water. My brother told her the cranberry juice was wine and then she choked, laughing. The flambeed baked Alaska was a bite or two and then zip. Lock jaw. Time to roll her back home.
I was surprised to see how many from her unit were not attending. I'm sure with some families living out of town, ice on the roads, and the expense, lots of people decided not to attend this year and that's what I'm thinking for next year, assuming she's still alive. I really hope I don't have to make that choice but I will if I have to.
I just am not sure which path to take-- and luckily, it's not for another year so no decision is required today. I may not have to make one anyway.