Holiday sadness...in case it hits you

To those who encounter some seasonal holiday dysfunction, loss, sickness, or other devastation, please take care of yourself and get help. I don't care where you go or to whom--and if you need help finding someone, call me or email me or even comment on this blog, and I'll help you find someone. Just do it. Do whatever it takes to take care of yourself in a healthy way instead of suffering along, alone. Ditch the booze or pills as a stress reliever if that's your deal. Ditto food--except chocolate--in reasonable amounts. Wait a minute...there's no such thing as a reasonable amount of chocolate. Pffff.

This time of year can be just a bear for some people--lots of people--who otherwise you'd never know were struggling. Instead of getting all caught up in the frenzy, give yourself permission to nap, kick back, do less--instead of more. I guarantee your body will feel the difference and so will your family. Even if you are single, don't apply societies "norms" to yourself where you always come out on the short end of the stick. Nope. Not gonna do it. Instead, do something meaningful and kind for yourself. Like what? OK...what do you enjoy? If it's cooking, do it and then share it with others. Or better still, watch the cooking shows and lie on the couch. No muss--no fuss. If it's reading, head to Half Price books and let yourself go wild on a few well chosen reads. Heck...get a chair massage and a coffee while you're there. Whatever it is you enjoy, do it. Just be kind and gentle to yourself. Have fun. Alone if necessary. No stress.

Build yourself a family if you want--one you choose. Anybody can be a member as long as you want them. These are the people who in a time of crisis, just show up to do the heavy lifting. Quietly. No medals required. They "get it", accept you right where you are, and if you're really lucky, make you laugh so hard you cry. Or, they're the people you feel safe with no matter what it is you need to say or do. They don't have to agree with you--they just support whatever choice you make. Where do you find these people? Keep your eyes open, watch and listen. They come in all shapes and sizes and they don't always look like you expect they might. Angels never do.