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Monday, January 25, 2010

Ouch.....


My heart and my brain hurt, after the funeral of my friend's husband this morning. If I am messed up, I cannot even contemplate how his family must feel. The neatest thing about the funeral was, they addressed the elephant in the room--suicide. Their minister did a masterful job of answering lots of questions there are no answers for, such as why. The why we will possibly never know, and it changes nothing about the man we knew and loved. He was still our friend, father brother, builder, etc. with all of the fabulous characteristics that made him who he was.
And the family stories were hilarious. The wedding and reception with only my friend and her groom, and their children in attendance. This was a second marriage so creating a real family was the top priority. The reception? They all 7 piled into a limousine and hit every fast food establishment that anyone was in the mood for. Everyone got to eat exactly what they wanted. The honeymoon? All 7 of them headed for DFW airport and Disney World. Their first Christmas as a family when all the kids came down stairs, there were no presents under the tree. None of the kids could figure it out until they checked their stockings. Each stocking had a plane ticket to Italy-- everyone all together. From that point on, a family trip was a yearly tradition, and you could see that real bonding had taken place with all the kids. So much so that Bob gave away each of his stepdaughter's this past summer at their weddings though their bio dad was very much alive. BOB WAS THEIR DAD.

I may never understand what made my friend's husband take his life--I can only say he's left wayyyyy too big of a hole behind where he used to be. And I miss him.

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