I suck at house cleaning

I think I scared a good ten years off Sister's life earlier.  Since I am our maid today, I got out our enormous janitorial sized dust mop to give the floors a quick sweep.  Mine looks like the kind the custodians had in grade school to sweep out all the classrooms and I have the old timey pads, too.  I haven't yet upgraded to microfiber pads.  Way too current for me. Anyway, I rested the handle of the mop up against the kitchen counter and naturally it fell.  The wooden handle is so long, it missed hitting Sis, by a hair.  That old  fat black gal just about jumped out of her skin, let me tell you.  I quickly apologized and attempted to reassure her but she still thinks I tried kill her.  And that girl holds a grudge, too.  This may take a bone out of the refrigerator, to repair.  Good Lord, she is spoiled and, yes, I do know who spoiled her.

She went outside in the backyard a little while ago and lay down on the bricks to toast up, I'm guessing.  She seldom does that, preferring the driveway side since it gets full sun.  A minute ago I heard her come in her doggie door and noticed something stuck on her tail. It was a leaf -- for decoration.  Not a good sign.  I have two more weeks of this cleaning to look forward to...ugh.

I figured while I was at it, I might as well clean the oven.  It's self cleaning so how hard can that be...apparently a little tougher than I remembered.  It takes hours for it to cycle through and our kitchen is now hot enough to bake cupcakes outside the oven, and smells like... weird stuff.  I turned on the vent to at least suck out the smell-- and hopefully some of the heat.  I realized a little while ago I forgot to take out the oven racks, though (this time) I did remember to take out the oven liner.  I cooked the old oven liner that last time I cleaned the oven.

Let's just say I have crossed off another possible career path for myself.  Maria, come home!!!!!