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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Metabolism? I don't think so

Boy, howdy....I sure understand why they call it "comfort food" and man, could I use some right now.  I have been jonesing for anything with sugar in it for days, and everywhere I look there's a picture of a pie or a cake or cookies.  And I'm not even looking for those pic's....they are just in my face.  Don't they know I have some beef to shed and that Lent isn't over yet?  And even when it is, sugar and I can never be close friends again, unless I relish watching the scale click away like the gas pump.  Yes, I can exercise--we all can--but have you ever tried burning off three cookies?  You'll be on the damn treadmill for days.  What about bread, or mashed potatoes...that must be at least a week.

OH, HELL, NO....I'd rather just not eat any contraband, than have to do that.  I think the thing that gets me the most is all these skinny gals who don't cop to the fact that they work out, and work out HARD.  They love to just say "oh, it's just my metabolism"...  Metabolism my ass.  When you see them sweating buckets at the Y and come out from class smelling like a mule, is exactly when I want to say "So, how's your metabolism..."  I know.....I am such a smarty pants but lets all just get honest here...there's not a peri or post menopausal woman alive whose metabolism couldn't use a boost, and in my case, a transplant.  I want the metabolism of a lean 20 year old who can eat like a Sumo wrestler, and burn it all off before the next meal. Yep...that's my dream.  And given the fact that there's not a snowball's chance in hell that that's likely to happen, I better go put on my walking gear.  Life can just be so unfair. 

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