This morning I was thinking about the discomfort of growth. Sometimes I can't tell the difference between a growth experience and the fear that goes with it, and a situation based on past experience that was scary and painful, that I choose not to repeat. The fact is, I can make the choice to do, or not do, either of these, but there's definitely growth in one of them. The hard part is telling them apart when they both feel the same way.
Growth v. pain. Good thing for me to be thinking about today. My wise old owl friend would tell me to play the 98-2% game. How much (percentage-wise) of what I'm feeling is based on past history, and how much is actually based on the present? If the majority of it is based in the past, it's just that--old stuff. But what do you know about old stuff? I know, if I always do what I've always done, I'll always get what I've always gotten. I can still do it--I just need go in with my eyes OPEN. If it's a minimal amount percentage wise-- of simply not knowing how something might actually play out and the anxiety or fear that evokes-- that's important to know, too. It might be worth it to make the choice to go for it. The "feel the fear and do it anyway" idea. I think I just answered my own question for myself. Funny how that works when you commit your thoughts to paper or the computer. The fog actually clears.
Now on to other stuff. While at the Farm yesterday, I took a walk from the big house to the front gate and back. As I neared the front gate, a red tailed hawk flew back and forth above me, and finally screeched at me, and then flew down towards the trees, back the other direction. When I got back to the house, I immediately googled the meaning of that sort of an event. Buckle up because here's what it said. It said if a hawk flies above you, you are awakening to your soul purpose, and it can teach you how to fly high, while staying connected to the ground. The message for you is to be open to hope and new ideas, and to extend the vision of your life. The hawk teaches you to be observant and take a closer look at your surroundings. It's cry signifies awareness and should you hear it, to use your intuitive ability to discern the message and to seek the truth. To take a look at your situation from above.