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Saturday, May 11, 2013


Good morning!!  Hope you are sipping your coffee outside like I am even if you don't have men digging up your backyard--like I do.  That's the fun part.  The landscape men are here to move some large plants around to different locations, while Sis and I watch.  They are all so nice and I get to practice my Spanglish on them, poor guys.  So far I've been real vocab is pretty limited.

I just called to get mom's weight for this month--I like to track things like that--only to be told mom had gained 23 pounds in the last month.  I'm serious.  When I told the lady on the phone that mom's last weight was 92.6, and that there was no way on the planet earth she could now weigh 115.6, I was told "Well...she's eating more now".  Really....and I'm Santa Claus. 

Honey....she'd have to be eating like a Sumo wrestler to gain that much in a month. These are the moments I have to staple my mouth SHUT and just email the Nurse Manager and request that mom be re-weighed and that the scale be re-calibrated.  All I can figure is that they weighed her AND her wheelchair, together.  Jeeze, Louise.

Finally, a funny from last night's TV obsession of mine--
Say Yes To The Dress.  It's the show where girls are filmed trying to find the perfect wedding dress while dealing with the entourage they've brought to assist them in their choice.  Last night, a woman was there with her mother, to choose her dress.  She was actually already married and had two children who were there also.  She had gotten pregnant at 18 while her baby daddy was 19, they had married at the Courthouse and her mother had refused to attend.  Her mom was so disappointed and angry that the daughter was giving up her shot to go to college, she wouldn't go, and it essentially destroyed their relationship.

 In the meantime the daughter went to college, finished, and had a second child with her husband.  Her husband had always told her if they made it to 10 years, he was giving her the wedding she missed. you are up to speed.  When the wedding dress consultant asked the woman what kind of dress she wanted or envisioned for herself, the gal said "Well...I want something that shows my money maker...I don't want no Goanbe".  Goanbe??  Turns out nobody else knew what that was either, so the gal had to explain "I don't want no dress where my stomach goan be sticking out further than my butt".  I almost fell off the bed laughing.  You heard it here first.

Now, get on outside 'cause it's goan be a really beautiful day.

P. S.  The nurse just called and said she gave me last year's weight (May)  for mom and they'd re-weigh her this afternoon.  She can't find this May's weight. (eye roll)  Funny how a friendly, nice email to the nurse manager gets a quick result.  Note to self : Be nice.  It works.  :)))

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