It was with a great deal of sadness I found out yesterday that my brother's marriage was officially over. Like in Court. The Big D. What a sad state of affairs--no pun intended--especially at this time of year. Just more evidence that I really don't know what The Big Plan is for me or anyone else. As I watch mom slide even further down the tubes into oblivion, this was just one more sad punch in the gut. The good news? I'm not in charge of the world and it will keep spinning with out my help--unless I get in there and start "helping"--and then we're all in for a really messy ride.
Today I know it's important to feel my feelings and not power shift through them like I used to. I now give myself the time to feel, and then let the feeling go. Unacknowledged feelings are the powder keg of humanity. Just look at the news or the Internet and you will see the wreckage. Remember my waves analogy. Feelings wash in and wash back out, just like waves. Let them keep washing in and out until you are finished with each feeling, but make sure you get finished. Carrying (or dragging) all that unfinished business around with you every day is going to do damage to you mentally, physically, and spiritually, and is going to weigh you down, and ultimately, make you sick. Real sick. So don't do it. They call is dis-ease for a reason.
On a happier, more positive and fun note, today I'm making one of my most favorite recipes of cookies that I only allow myself to make once a year. Why?? You already know the answer. Too damn good and I will eat them. They are the original recipe from the New York Times from way back when, and they are Viennese Crescents. Senora Maria talks about them every year at this time, and since she is probably coming today--I say probably because she just comes what ever day works best for her--I don't care--as long as she comes--and today I thought it would be fun to surprise her with her favorite cookies (and mine). A few of these with a fresh, hot cup o' joe will cure any of the worlds problems today. I can't wait to hear her key in the lock. :)