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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Thoughts on Growing Older and Wiser

Man...I would not trade where I am in my life for all the money in the Powerball Lottery and that's probably a nice chunk of change right now.  Yes, there are some not so fun trade offs-- physically when my eyes don't literally see like they used to but what they "see" now, as an almost 58 year old, is sure illuminating.  I don't think this "seeing" is possible with out the passage of lots of years and lots of life experience-- some of it really painful.  At least not for me.  Maybe there are some younger "old souls" out there who get wisdom earlier, but that's not been my experience.

Physically, my stamina isn't that of my younger days but the good news is, now I know it and accept it.  When I'm worn out, I don't push harder.  I get in the bed.  And it's lovely.  I don't beat myself up for not knocking off every single thing on my to do list.  Instead I just tell myself "oh, well" and then LMAO being grateful I have a nice warm bed to crawl into.  Sure, I still get stressed out just like every other human being, but today I know when to stop and take care of myself.  Considering that my head is as hard as reinforced concrete and my will is just as strong, this lesson has taken many years for me to actually learn.

Emotionally, I've learned that people I don't care for are just as human as I am, and have their own lessons to learn.  And with some, that means I am better off loving them from a distance.  Spiritually, as long as I can still love them, that's all that matters.  I don't have to like them or pretend like I do.  I just have to be kind.  Today I honestly don't give a rats fanny what other people think of me or my actions.  Everybody is entitled to their opinion--they have theirs, I have mine.  What freedom to live my life, my way, knowing the only person/spirit I am accountable to is God, and since we chat on a regular basis, I'm clear about what He wants and expects from me.  Frankly, what other people think of me is none of my business.  I don't need to know.  Gone are the "shoulds" and "oughts" and the tyranny of other people's opinions.  Buh, bye. 

As we head into this Christmas season, I hope all of you celebrate where you are in your life.  If you aren't feeling free, liberate yourself because you are the only one who can do it for you.  Amidst pain and grief is where all the learning and gifts, are hidden.  No lookey, no findey. 

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