I woke up this morning with a lot on my mind. I hate that. It's like my brain gets up hours ahead of me and starts thinking, before I'm even conscious, and then I wake up feeling anxious or sad. Maybe you don't do that but sometimes I do. Especially I tend to do it when life feels distressing (Colorado, mom's continuing weight loss, and someone I know who is a basket case, but is so "armoured", he won't get help.) He's someone who is his own worst enemy and seems to enjoy it, on some level. No, this person isn't family. He's an acquaintance, and if I kick in my professional opinion, he's a real whack job (with blow potential). He needs help and he needs it BAD, and since I can't do a thing for him other than pray for him, that's what I'm doing--just like I am for the Colorado people.
I have the hardest time remembering sick people are sick people, and as much as I'd like to help them--or make them get help--I can't. That is just not within my power. A lot of people think they can force someone, but the truth is, they can't. If someone doesn't want help, it's game over. It 's the old "lead a horse to water" thing. I can't make someone want something they don't want (health), no matter how much I wish they did. Sucks, but it's true.
Stepping back and allowing someone to be who they are, sure is a powerless feeling. I keep thinking of the mom of the Colorado shooter, who is a Psych nurse, and knew when the Police contacted her, that they had the right person. She couldn't force him to get help, though I'm sure she tried. Man...mental illness is a real bitch.