Has it ever occurred to you that people you don't like were put into your life to teach you something? And more specifically something about yourself? I know ...wrankles the holy crud out of you, doesn't it? When I finally figured out that on some level they were simply holding a mirror up to me in order to see myself, that really pissed me off. Me?? Like them?? No way. Yes, way.
Does "spot it you got it", ring any bells? Let's just say that went down my throat like steaming hot lava. The things I most disliked in them, were the very things I had in myself. Otherwise, why would it 1) piss me off so bad 2) would I see it so clearly. Because I own it. They are just like me.
When I finally decided to embrace the lesson, and learn what I could about it, my dislike of them diminished somewhat (not totally), and when I'd see someone "doing their thing", I'd cringe knowing I looked just like them, when I did the same thing. Ohhhhh, talk about torture. It's like watching the worst movie ever and you're the star, acting like an ass, in front of everybody, only this time it's them. You get to see exactly how you looked. Bang...down goes the judgement I was carrying and plop, there went the criticism, and pshew, up comes the compassion.
I'm learning more and more to ask myself "what's the lesson here?" and try to get it the first time. I seldom do, and it keeps reappearing until I do. Sometimes it's dressed up differently so I don't recognize it or worse, I don't wanna get it this time. I just want to be Judge Judy. I can. And I'll see the same lesson again soon, only the next time its likely to be more painful--to get my attention. And did I mention I'm not real popular when I act like Judge Judy? Nobody is. Even she's not, so why would I want to act like her?
There are some people who choose not to get life's lessons at all, and I cannot for the life of me figure out how they have any quality of life. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't. The good news is, it's none of my business.
My stuff's mine and their stuff is there's. Case closed. Bang!