Seriously

Now, I admit I've been known to baby sit some strange stuff--my kids clothes, guns, deer heads, X-boxes, window ac units, and loads of other weird sh**, but this is by far the largest and weirdest.  And right now, it doesn't even run.  Aren't you a jealous wreck that this isn't in the middle of your driveway, bikini top and all?  Eat your heart out.